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I Feel Lonely

I've been married for 12 years and we've been together for a total of 20 years. Children have come along and taken over our life. I feel like a mum not a women anymore , me and my husband aren't close and never make love anymore I long to feel special and loved and crave to be kissed and touched and made to feel like a women. I've even thought about havering an affair if I had the chance
Toppgirl Toppgirl 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 14, 2013

Your Response


Considering an affair - check
Posting on EP about the marriage - check

So far you have hit two HUGE markers on the journey to the likely collapse of your marriage (at least in its' present format).

Without any back story to put this into context, it does not look like a situation one would be wildly confident about the unions future.

Tread your own path.

You feel like a mum and not a woman, eh? Now that you have offspring, has your spouse fallen into the habit of treating you like his mother instead of his partner?

Have you talked about this seriously with your husband? Does he understand how you feel? It does not feel good at all to be taken for granted. Everyone needs to be loved and appreciated...physical intimacy included. If talking goes nowhere, set some boundaries and ground rules about the lack of intimacy. Think much more before you have an affair. It will only confuse these issues.

You are sexless and thinking about engaging in an affair.

Your marriage is clearly in crises.

How you and your husband respond to this emergency (and just because it does not feel urgent does not mean it is not urgent) might determine if you remain together for the long haul or not.

What does he have to say about the state of your marriage?