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Test

If you have to test someone in order to know if they really do care or not, chances are they don't.
southernbelle93126 southernbelle93126 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 14, 2013

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I'd like to agree with this, and I'm also feeling some unease - in the mind-reading department.

I'm a fan of testing what the actual situation is proactively on the lines of CBT (not the Apochryphal form thereof!) - which encourages one to act as a scientist to test hypotheses about a situation rather than catastrophising, mind-reading and other unhelpful patterns. That helped me get real about the SM.

I've learned to a fair extent to rely on action and behavior rather than speculation about other people's motivations - after all, I do not really know my own, that's mainly post-hoc rationalisation.

There is though, a wonderful trust and ease that comes with a good relationship, and that does not require trading or testing.

I take your point. When the symptoms are bad enough to warrant a "test", the bird has already flown.

Tread your own path.

Would agree. If they care they will show it. Sadly some people are unable too see what is right in front of their face