I Know The Answer ...I know the answer to my situation. I just don't know what to do about it. Does that make sense?
It is has become very apparent to me that I am no longer in love with my H. I am ready to move on and find the kind of love that I want and deserve. I can only hope that it is out there for me. The thing is, I am concerned about my children. I know that my daughter will be alright, but my son has difficulty with even the slightest change sometimes, due to his Asperger's, and the last thing that I want to do is inflame an already delicate situation with him.
He, my son, is finally starting to settle down and make things work for himself. I don't want to rock the boat so bad that he loses his progress ... or worse.
I sometimes find myself thinking if I could just fall in love with my H again things would be better. But, I don't really believe that is true. You can only be hit over the head so many times before you learn to move away from the pain. Now, I sit here and wonder how to not ruin my son's progress while making life better for myself and helping my daughter learn that it is alright to stand up for yourself in a bad situation.
Anyway, I hadn't written for awhile and I thought I would just give all of you who have been so supportive an update. I truly believe there is progress. It is just slow going.