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The Cold

So the temp fell like a rocket biting cold. When I get home he has the fireplace lit. He turns down the central unit to allow the fireplace to warm the house. After a while he tells me that the fireplace is just not getting the rooms on the other end warm (one of those rooms is one he has taken residence in). So since they are not getting warm and he refuses to allow the central unit to run all night trying to keep the house warm, he's just going to sleep in the living room in one of the recliners and then goes on to tell me how comfortable they are. He sets the thermostat and timer on the portable heater in my (our) bedroom and exits to the living room closing the bedroom door "to keep the heat in". The same door he just had to keep open while we had guests during the holidays. Guess the heat didn't need to stay in. This morning I see his pillow and blankets in the recliner...guess he had a good, warm night sleeping in the chair.

Whatever.....
vecca vecca 46-50 7 Responses Jan 15, 2013

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OK,,,,,here is what you do.<br />
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1. Agree that the recliners are indeed comfortable<br />
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2. hide the portable heater from your bedroom somewhere where he can't find it<br />
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3. Get completely naked, because you are a woman who embraces her sexuality and is comfortable with it and should be in your own home.<br />
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4.Go into the living room and lay on the other recliner he is not laying on...being sure to not cover up.<br />
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5. have fun watching him squirm and ultimately turn on the 'central unit' so he can sleep somewhere else

Ha Ha Ha...too funny (maybe even set up a webcam to record it in case I doze off.
a good night's sleep is worth more to me than playing musical beds....or recliners..LOL

Clearly not in heat, is he?

LoL good one!

At the very least he is sending you crystal clear messages on how he feels about you.

Good move starting to figure out your exit plan i say.

Stay Strong &amp; Good Luck

the attorney asked me if he'll be surprised when I leave...and I told her "yes." He chatted tonight as if we were a normal couple. Yep, he'll be surprised because I have enabled this dysfunctionality since I refuse to live a live full of arguing and bickering. Yeah I've heard the adage..."anything worth keeping is worth fighting for". There's a difference between effort and atmosphere. You can call it pride or whatever you want but I will not "beg" anyone to sleep with me...never have...not going to start now. What I am going to start is squirreling away money for my release. I'll be very fair - No acrimony in marriage, no acrimony in divorce.

There's another adage: You got to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.

You may not present any acrimony in divorce. However, by stating that you didn't want to live a life of bickering, your spouse may have a different idea. As part of your exit plan, you might want to consider how to handle a combative divorce, if it comes to that.

Indeed. Given the word picture vecca has thus far painted of Mr vecca, the likelyhood of an agreed and amicable split does not appear to be a probable outcome.

You all might be right. Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part....If it comes to that then give me the sofa and he can have the rest. But I will refuse to pay spousal support - not happening. Sell this place at a loss, or let the vultures come get it. Either way, when I walk out of it I've made my last payment and my credit will just have to suffer.

vecca: Yes, that's my sticking point too. I'm b#ggered that I'm paying alimony, child support, no problem, but alimony just smells too much like rewarding them for abusing you. It sticks in my craw.

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And there you go. At the very least, there can be no confusion. Crystal - Clear.

I take it while you had guests there was a pressing need to keep the door open ?

Good communicater your spouse.
His actions are very very clear, and very very consistent.

Tread your own path.