Unexpected The Expected (updated)So this weekend me and the wife had "an amazing weekend" (her words, not mine). Again I took her out for a day of different activities; brunch(she calls it that, I call it late breakfast), boat cruise in the ocean, fancy dinner downtown. Some of you that have read my other stories may be calling me a chump for continuing to do these nice things for my terrible wife. But I am and always will be a hopeless romantic that has always done these things for the woman in my life. So please don't judge me to harshly.
After our day was over and we were at home she kept saying what a great day she had with me and that she was so happy we did those things. Then something unexpected happened. She came over to me on the couch and said "you have been looking really good lately". She then undressed and asked me to please her orally. Yes, I am one of those guys that is incredible at pleasing a woman orally (her words, not mine) and I really enjoy doing it. I gladly took the opportunity in the hopes of "starting her engine". Fast forward about 20 minutes and a few ******* and she asks me to stop.
Then the expected happened. At that point I begin to take my pants off thinking its my turn to get some attention. When she saw what I was doing she got off the couch and said "I'm going to take a shower because the golden globes are on". I stared at her in awe as she collected her clothing of the floor and went upstairs to take a shower. I began to loose my temper and I told her to give me some sexual satisfaction. She then said "we will have sex later, I just want to watch the award show. Can we cuddle for now?".
I laid in bed steaming, it took all my strength not to say or do something I was going to regret. I then said the most futile sentence in my relationship. "Will you give me oral sex at least?". In the 7 years of our relationship she has NEVER given me oral sex, not one single time. She has never even tried. She says that it's degrading to women to do that, it's disgusting, it will make her throw up instantly, etc. Yet, she has no problem when I do it for her.
So at the end of the night I found her asleep. I tried to get her attention in an attempt to maybe get some sexual satisfaction. Needless to say it was useless. She went into her "sexual lockdown" fetal position and fell asleep.
I then laid in bed and cried for a few minutes. Update: This is in response to all of you who have commented on this post. Yes, you are all correct that I have allowed myself to become a doormat. But I must give a little background as to why I am afraid of being forceful with her. After we were married and during our first sex drought I lost my patience for her excuses. One night we were at home and she came to lay by me. She began being playful. I went with it and began reciprocating the attention. After a while she suddenly began acting hard to get and slapping my hands away. I thought she was playing around so I kept going. She then began to pushing and kicking me. I got off the bed truly surprised at this turn of events. She then started crying and began putting her clothes back on. I asked her what happened and she said "were you trying to rape me". I stood there in absolute shock. RAPE???? I asked. You started this with me. She said yes I did. But I wanted you to stop and you kept going. I assume that's why she was initially slapping my hands away. After getting dressed she grabbed her coat and spent the night at her parents house. I was terrified. I work in law enforcement and ANY charge of domestic violence or abuse is grounds for immediate termination. I was certain my marriage and career were over. I spent the better part of the night messaging her apologies. After that evening I have found it incredibly difficult to be forceful with her when it comes to taking what is rightfully mine. She has no history of sexual abuse, so where this sexual disconnect comes from I have no idea.