Red Flags All Over. Any Advice For A Marriage Going Down South?

What a bad space to be in. Afraid to share our heart with the one to whom we have entrusted it. This is called "walking on eggshells" and is one hallmark of a disfunctional relationship.

Although the jury is still out - on account of the infant potentially causing a hiccup in proceedings - it does seem that what was (not) going on pre infant means the jury ought not have to deliberate too much longer.

Where-as the jury will likely convict, it then falls on you as "judge" to apply an appropriate sentence. That's where this process usually goes guts up and goes no-where.

Lots of people are prepared to be on the jury, very few are up to applying the sentence.

Tread your own path.

Brother fastmax you need to be direct and honest. Stuff her feelings you have been far to considerate to her feelings and look where it has got you.

Unfortunately if any change is to occur with her you need to let go of this fear of upsetting her and instead you need to rock her boat so hard until it capsizes.

I like you bring in the majority of income and i used to extensively cook, clean, mop, and participate in extensive house chores.

Not any more brother fastmax. I came to realise that i work to hard and bring in a comfortable living for the family and only to come home and play super house husband as well.

No instead i wised up realised that my wife had broken her side of the marriage contract through her lack of intimacy so i withdrew the gestures of kindness i used to display like supplementing her house chores even though she works less hours and contributes far less financially.

I suggest you do the same.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

I'm not sure how old the baby is, but that can be important at this stage. A new mother, particularly if she is breast feeding, can feel as if her body is "owned" by her child. Add this to lack of sleep and it can result in feelings that "one more call" on her body (eg. for sex) is just more than she can bear at present.

I encourage you to talk to her as Maleficent has said. And I would add that you could ask her what she needs from you. Does she just want to be held and cuddled? What does she need to feel loved and safe with you before she can relax enough to enjoy sex?

Personally I would not make TOO big a deal about frequency but concentrate on the fact that she doesn't seem to be enjoying it and that leaves you feeling a lack of intimacy with her. Let her know that if SHE is not njoying it,that conveys itself to you - then you feel you are making her do something against her will. And that this is a HORRIBLE feeling for you.

If she tries to avoid the conversation, insist she tell you a time when you can discuss this. Tell her you know it is uncomfortable for her - and that it uncomfortable for you too. But your marriage is VERY important to you and you need to work out how to go forward so you are BOTH happy. Best of luck!!!

You need to be direct with her. You are far to worried about hurting her feelings. Think of the control she has in this relationship. She gets to decide how often you have sex. She decided that nothing turns her on without even giving it a chance. She even controls your ability to be open about your feelings because there is an implied threat that saying something will 'make things worse'. My STBX is very much like your SO and over the years I gave up control over almost every aspect of my life without even realizing it just to keep him happy. The trouble is, it was never enough. Tell her exactly how you feel and how much his is hurting you. If she chooses to try and work things out great, you have a shot. If she chooses not to then you will know exactly how little you mean to her.