Sometimes It's Not So StraightforwardWhere to begin... I have been with my wife for 15 years now. For the first couple of years, things were great and then... we have grown apart sexually. It has nothing to do with weight, which is the same as when we met. It has nothing to do with income or finances- we're better off than we've ever been. But there's refusal. I used to ask every day, multiple times... then once a day... then not only was there refusal, there was contempt for the request... at the current worst, I moved out of our bedroom and into the guest room. This was a shock because she- and I kid you not- said "you slept better in there than you've slept in years."
But then there's the thyroid cancer.
She had it removed recently, the whole thing, and for the best- it was Stage 2 and not looking promising. Now I have refusal amidst hormone adjustments. I've laid back, tried to be supporting.
Then there's a lack of communication.
I've also not let the issue drop. I'm not pushy. If I bring it up once a month I'd shock myself. But I'm tired of the fight it almost always brings. And I'm no mind reader. Sorry, but I wasn't born with that ability. I'm one of those people that actually believes that people should mean what they say and do what they think is right. But if you say nothing at all...
It's not that I wouldn't have sex with her. I just see the stories about how people don't want to anymore, and I don't want that to happen. It's doubly aggravating when women I know will say "she's one lucky gal to have you!" and I smile to hide the pain.
I need the sex to feel intimate. I want to feel intimate with her. I don't understand why I am refused, and I'm not being told anything other than 'no.'