I Live In a Sexless Marriage
I posted my first post here a few weeks ago, talking about how I had become numb to the whole "not getting sex" thing and I was sort of happy about it. Folks in this group gave me some really good advice and I appreciate all of it.
When you're a knucklehead like me, it's nice to get a fresh perspective from new people.
Of course, I spoke too soon and a few days ago my sex drive switched into overdrive. I feel like taking a long weekend in a nice clean hotel room and show myself a darn good time.
That being said, my rock solid resolve to counter refuse turned into something else two nights ago, and I made my first move since before Thanksgiving. Even as I was doing it, I felt like Charlie Brown going to kick the football from Lucy and I wasn't disappointed.
Now I get to move from being ambivalent back to angry.
As it happened, my sister gave me a call last night and engaged me on marriage and how my wife and I never seem to get any alone time. Normally I am very private and defensive of my wife. My family loves her and I have no interest in that changing. But last night I just wasn't in the mood to make excuses and I told my sister that it pretty much didn't matter if we had any time alone. She suggested that she visit and we could go to a hotel and I just had to listen.
In the end, someone trying very hard to help left me more frustrated and angry than I have been in some time. Is this part of this life? Have you all dealt with well meaning folks telling you that if you just offered more non-sexual back rubs, things would be better?
If another person tells me that I need to give her time to herself or validate her as a mother, I swear I'm going to take a hostage.
I hate being that person who listens to good advice and is very quick to say "But that wouldn't work because..." but after nearly a decade I know that cleaning the house and doing the laundry and buying the groceries may put her in a better mood, but it doesn't create sexual desire. At least not for me.
I suppose many of these questions above are rhetorical. This is a cycle because I've been here before. But it's really sad.
When you're a knucklehead like me, it's nice to get a fresh perspective from new people.
Of course, I spoke too soon and a few days ago my sex drive switched into overdrive. I feel like taking a long weekend in a nice clean hotel room and show myself a darn good time.
That being said, my rock solid resolve to counter refuse turned into something else two nights ago, and I made my first move since before Thanksgiving. Even as I was doing it, I felt like Charlie Brown going to kick the football from Lucy and I wasn't disappointed.
Now I get to move from being ambivalent back to angry.
As it happened, my sister gave me a call last night and engaged me on marriage and how my wife and I never seem to get any alone time. Normally I am very private and defensive of my wife. My family loves her and I have no interest in that changing. But last night I just wasn't in the mood to make excuses and I told my sister that it pretty much didn't matter if we had any time alone. She suggested that she visit and we could go to a hotel and I just had to listen.
In the end, someone trying very hard to help left me more frustrated and angry than I have been in some time. Is this part of this life? Have you all dealt with well meaning folks telling you that if you just offered more non-sexual back rubs, things would be better?
If another person tells me that I need to give her time to herself or validate her as a mother, I swear I'm going to take a hostage.
I hate being that person who listens to good advice and is very quick to say "But that wouldn't work because..." but after nearly a decade I know that cleaning the house and doing the laundry and buying the groceries may put her in a better mood, but it doesn't create sexual desire. At least not for me.
I suppose many of these questions above are rhetorical. This is a cycle because I've been here before. But it's really sad.
By:
harveyspecter
Age:
41-45
,
Male
