What Does Sex Mean To Me?

Sex - What Does It Mean To Me?
By: Me
Written on September 3rd, 2012
Truthfully speaking - what does sex mean to me - to be blunt - "male or female."

Having been married for 22 years and having sex probably 22 times with my husband is pretty damn sad. It was 1997 - the last time I had sex with him! However, before 1997 we managed to get me pregnant and had a wonderfully amazing child.

I have tried numerous times to have sex, and he has not tried once in 15 years. There is absolutely no room in my heart anymore or do I have the desire to be with him at all. Our child has moved out of the house now and I am feeling very lonely more now than ever before.

We don't have any money to pay lawyers to get a divorce, he has racked up credit card debt beyond belief and has a very small seasonal business and does not work five months out of the year. If we were to divorce, I would have to cover his health insurance and would be
liable for alimony. We own two properties - one of which is a rental unit with a very small mortgage left to pay. He has been using the proceeds from rent to pay his share of living expenses.

My income is under 60,000 per year and after taxes, health insurances, home utilities, food, etc., I can't save a dime.

I suppose we could sell both properties and go our separate ways, but getting there is the hardest thing to accomplish with no money to spare for legal fees. I want out and I want to be far away from him. What can I do????
bd143 bd143
56-60, F
2 Responses Jan 18, 2013

Without consulting a lawyer and learning the EXACT facts of how much/how long you would have to pay for ANY of his expenses, you cannot make an informed decision.

Have you consulted a divorce lawyer yet? First visit is often free! And you may well be surprised what they say.

The word "we" appears a lot of times in this story, when in fact there is no "we" in the dynamic.

Examples -
"we" own a rental property but only "me" (him) derives a financial benefit from it.
"me" (him) runs up a mountain of CC debt, but it is "we" who have to pony up the repayments

I would suggest to you that adopting a "me" position yourself, and cutting the parasite loose, would be the first step in you reclaiming your life, your credit rating and your financial position.

If the law in your jurisdiction demands that you would have to cover his insurance and pay him alimony, then that problem ain't going to go away. Waiting will NOT improve that fact.
You may well find that biting the bullet now, and having to pay him a set amount will be relatively easily done once you are financially free of him and running your own financial ship. At the moment, you have the added embuggerance of him racking up debt for his own purposes that you have to pick up the tab for. Without that embuggerance, your position is highly likely to improve quite quickly - after you unload the drone.

Tread your own path.