Love Should Not Make You Feel Like A Loser

I have been married for 21 years. For the last ten years sex has been sporadic at best. He has been caught cheating and of course is a liar. He claims its my fault. He blames me for everything even his affairs. I am in good shape and take care of myself. I know he ignores me to punish me. I am trying to find the strength to get out. I know real love doesn't make you question your sanity. He tells me he loves me, but he shows me he hates me. I know I can't waste my life like this anymore.
tbird2 tbird2
3 Responses Jan 20, 2013

This is an abusive relationship. That is not love, it is control. Your spouse is supposed to lift you up and be supportive, not make you feel like a loser.

Why are you allowing yourself to live in this manner? It is psychologically abusive. Here is a list of resources for abused spouses:

"He tells me he loves me, but he shows me he hates me."

Knowing this difference between action and words is the first step to your freedom.

Welcome to the group.

I see you are a very new member. Extensive reading on here would be my suggestion for you. Including in your reading stories such as "Outsourcing Your Needs" would likely be helpful, as might "We, or Me". As you see stories and comments there-on, you will likely find something of value.

What you won't find, is a "magic bullet" answer here.

That's not to say there are no answers, perhaps a better way of putting it is there are no "easy" answers.

Tread your own path.