Sexless MarriageOur relationship started out with love at first sight, for me anyway. We got together rather slowly though. We flirted in a college class, dated a couple times over a period of about 2 months. By the second date we were pretty hot for each other, and by the third date, true date, we had hot sex. This continued for about a month, then I was begging. We had discussions about it, a few fusses about it, but nothing changed. I should have known then and we should have parted ways-- easy, nobody hurt. I am however, the eternal optimist. I kept believing that every time we had sex, oh, now it's ok, things are ok now. Of course, no they never were. At that time and for years there was emotional closeness and occasionally great, hot sex. There was, what I call, get it over with sex a little more occasionally. I was just so in love and she was/is so beautiful. Well, we got married, problem still the same, but, you know how we think. It'll be better after we're married. YEA! right! It stayed about the same. Now, once in a while, about once a month, we had pretty hot sex and about once a week we had get it over with sex. Now for a 20 year old you know that's, well, awful. I would fuss about once a month, get the similarity here, once a month I'd get mad about the lack of passion and it would get passionate. This went on about 20 years. I got pretty fed up with it several times. We separated 3 times. Now this is funny, all of them lasted exactly 8 months before I'd just miss her so bad I'd say let's get back together, and we would. I must be stupid, I've always admitted that. Pretty smart at what I do for a living, well, down right stupid at ....whatever this is....lovelife? We would get wild with sex, hot with sex, do different things occasionally, but let me suggest, (oh, anything different was absolutely always my idea) let me suggest doing that idea again, her answer...we just did that...even if it was 6 months ago. Let's go back to (close by big city) and got out and get sexy...answer....we just did, we'll do it again sometime. You know the answer to that...no we didn't. Well, the yes answers to my ideas gradually got fewer and farther between. Until I realized a few months ago I am too imbarassed to suggest anything and of course nothing besides a get it over with session or two has happened in probably 4 or 5 years now and those have gotten down to about one every 3 to 4 weeks. Just because I resent coming on to her at all. The nonsexual intimacy is gone completely now. Resentment and anger has eaten it away. Now, well now it's just down to depression, anger, resentment, I'm not even good at what I do for a living anymore. Believe it or not, I envy the guys who bury themselves in their jobs over a marriage like this. I don't even feel like having an affair. I've even been suicidal occasionally. Don't worry, I would never, I don't want any warnings from yall about that!! I know some answers will come back....get out of that marriage. I can't....money, she has never worked outside my office, so you know what my lawyer says....get ready, she'll take EVERYTHING you own and will ever make.
I'm sorry for all this, I just needed to vent. No one to talk to and all that.
Anyway, for you young people, if you can't get along over things when you're dating, for God's sake don't stay together!!!!