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Monday Morning Blues

in my last update i mentioned the financial shenanigans i discovered during my research and prep for my exit.

well, fri morning the credit monitoring service i subscribed to informed me i have been downgraded due to an enormously skewed debt-to-credit ratio. i forwarded the notice to my h in an e mail in which i used a lot of all caps. basically told him this is all his fault and i don't care what he has to do, i am not selling anything more of mine, it is his debt, he'd better be prepared to pay it off.

and......no response. more PA bullish!t this weekend. he raised issues of concern that have absolutely nothing to do with the great big giant elephant in the room.

in fact yesterday after him broaching (yet another) red herring issue to discuss, i said: "you are avoiding the great big giant elephant in the room. are you ever going to discuss it with me, or are you going to continue burying your head in the sand?" no response. i then said something along the lines of "you may choose to bury your head in the sand and avoid all discussions but it ain't going away. see how much longer that'll work for ya."

i can just picture him blaming this on him "never receiving" the e mail. yah. no worries, he won't be able to ignore process server serving him with actionable papers.

this week before the atty meeting i will take time to think out and put in a spreadsheet a parenting plan, a budget, and so on. i want to make as much prefab and prepared for the atty as possible, hopefully save on fees.

i am in a melancholy place but will soon kick myself out of it this morning, am getting hope from reading stories from you all.
smithy8015 smithy8015 46-50, F 7 Responses Jan 21, 2013

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The debt problem only gets worse if you wait for it to get better. And it will be really strange having your refuser begging you for what they refused, but realize it is a trick. Be strong and it will get better.

You are doing great, and good thing you are getting out. *hug*

Whatever the bumps, you are keeping your course with clear vision.

Keep going, well done.

I'm wondering as well as being businesslike and focussed, you could find ways of having a little fun on the way, so it's not all graunch.

<p>Much of this problem is jurisdiction dependent.</p><p>An example. Debt incurred in joint names where I live is regarded as "jointly and severally" repayable by the 2 people. That actually means that if Mrs Bazzar refuses to pony up her share, then I am responsible for the full debt. How I might recover my right whack out of Mrs Bazzar is my problem, not the creditors.</p><p>Good that you are seeing a lawyer, hope there aren't any nasty surprises lurking for you sister smithy.</p><p>Tread your own path.</p>

I feel your pain---I remember when I found out my STBX hadn't paid 4 years of taxes and had been lying to me about it. Also PA and also ridiculous. Every time I waver and wonder if I did the right thing by divorcing him, I think of that I know I did. Who treats someone they love like that??? Your H has been so disrespectful to you, of course you are down about it. But as my amazing boyfriend has said to me, you'd have to work hard to find another man who would act that way. THAT'S how crazy his behavior is.

Having to treat one's spouse as a child *yet again* while going through divorce proceedings is one more terrible insult. A relative of mine has a saying he uses from his time in a large organization working in teams: "How do you eat a s*** sandwich? One bite at a time."

Here's wishing you an endless supply of breath mints and Tums until it's over.

I'm sorry your day isn't going so great so far. Must be something in the water. I'm feeling pretty blue today, too. Sounds like you have a solid plan, though. Sending good thoughts your way!