He Left 4 Days Ago - The Day Of Reckoning Is Near (update)My husband came back after the disappearing act. We didn't really talk and after 22 years of marriage, the status quo for the last 7 years things are not going to change. We have become expert at living within our dysfunctional marriage; at some level, he is satisfied. But I have this persistent notion that someday, I could find a man my age who would love (and make love to) me.
(Members of this group usually refer to it as sex but, really it should be making love, because it should be more than *******. Anyway.....
This week we had an offer on our house. A low ball offer from a tenant. My husband said what he always says "it's your house, do whatever you want" This is very kind of him and it is also true. (I rebuilt the house over the last two decades, handled the expenses for the last 7 or so.) So I am free to do whatever I should decide to do with our house and our little boy. This also means that I am alone in whatever decision I make. I am exhausted as it is and I am scared of all the responsibility.( Even though I probably have been pretty much alone for many years)
So knowing that I would not make the wrong financial decision and sell the house, I needed to take action to shore finances up. Here's my problem, in moments like these, I feel like my back is to the wall and I have to step up for our children's future. But he just sits down and makes himself a cup of tea. And then I try to explain...you have responsibilities please don't leave me alone to fend for our children's and my life. After a couple days of my demand that he work, he leaves.
So I start making plans on the finances and go to work to earn a living. Today, I have a business appointment but, I don't know whether he will show up to watch our son or not. I am trying to push through my fear to take action to support our family.
But that old fashion notion of mine about having a man who loves, makes love to me and sees me as a woman who is somewhat fragile and in need of some support persists.
amithecrazyone 46-50, F 7 Responses 1 Jan 21, 2013