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Life Is Hell

the boy to whom i loved couldn't be my life partner.by the choice of my parents i got married to a man who had several physical and mental problems which were not exactly visible.since i was a studious girl before marriage i never had any sex chat with my friends and i was not a bit aware of the fact that this is the most important part of a married life.on the very first day of the marriage i had taken the inability of my husband for not doing sex very lightly. but as the time passed by and my dear ones and friends talked bout sex life then i thought that a very big thing is missing from my life.after wards i was in search of a man to whom i can love and he would be able to give me all the physical pleasure too.after a very long search i came across with a man to whom i loved and i enjoyed sex with him too.but on the other hand i had spoiled my marriage life too because my husband had suspicious sight on me and he quarreled with me too because of his guilt of incapability in doing sex.i got frustrated too when that guy started paying less attention towards me.i don't know what came in my mind that after 7 year of sexless life i adopted a baby boy n thought now i will not think about sex life and can lead a happy life with my husband.but the situation got even more worst because now i started doing anger on my little kid just because of that frustration of not having sex in life.i don't know what to do now? somewhere i love my husband for his simplicity and other traits and on the other hand i want to lead a normal life like other ladies.i am of 35 years age.
An Ep User An EP User 3 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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This may be difficult to hear, but not only are you and your husband far to immature to marry, you are too immature to adopt. It sounds like both of you are from a severely repressed society. You need to get psychological help to avoid punishing the baby for all this. If not for the basic goodness of it, for the sake of the law! Is going back and staying with your parents an option while you are looking for therapy?

Depending on where you are (consult a lawyer), your marriage may be annulled because you never had sex, therefor there was no marriage.

Please remember your child is an innocent in this situation. It is too bad you thought a child would take away your need for sex and intimacy; the opposite is the truth. But you must seek help for yourself to be able to be the best mother you can be, and if you think you are going to be abusive, it may be for the best to give up your child to someone who can better care for him. But seek help first if you can, through counselling and parenting classes, anger management, and most importantly: get OUT of your marriage, it is a friendship, you deserve much more, and it is NOT your child's fault that you are not getting it.

Your anger is better placed at the "husband" who married you and kept you dissatisfied.

You know, even if he is unable to "perform", if he has ED, he could help you with intimacy, with sex toys, with fingers/tongue etc.; to deny you completely such a basic need is cruel on his part.

Keep reading on here. And please get help for your anger towards your child. I have written on here about that same tension with my child, and it is one reason I am separated now - I am much calmer with them when I am not constantly dissappointed by the EX.

your marriage is technically unconsummated and yiou are technically free of the wows you take...so the proper way is to separate and remarried legally. It wiil give you a good new start. The boy is a complication...but true love extends outward!!!!! Pray you will have a good ending!!!!