Opposite Land: Still Going StrongAn update from Opposite Land, where people give and receive love freely, and passion is as plentiful as air. Where no one walks on eggshells, and conflict is minimal. Where problems have solutions that BOTH people create, and no one is left to emotionally fend for him or herself. If anyone is still wondering if there is life after a SM, I am here to say THERE IS. And it's a million times better.
Almost 3 months into my relationship with Señor Spanish Sex God (SSSG), things are going marvelously well and I am still having incredible, racy, thrillingly connected sex EVERY DAY. Sometimes more than once! ;) He is remarkably loving, affectionate and kind. He constantly tells me I am sexy, beautiful, amazing, incredible, etc etc. And shows me with his body!
But it's not just sex. What started as a crazy fling has grown into an increasingly deep relationship. We are getting to know each other so much better, and are becoming a team. We aren't exactly alike, but we are so much more so than I was with my STBX. I always described us as different, but compatible. SSSG and I are both alike AND compatible: we are just tuned to a very similar frequency. I don't feel like I have to work constantly to decipher his behavior---he understands his own emotions, can verbalize them, and best of all takes responsibility for them! I am not to blame for everything.
Who knows what will happen...it is still early but there has already been talk of babies and marriage, neither of which we are ready for but isn't out of the question one day. We are both committed to just taking things as they come and letting the relationship evolve naturally.
I still love my STBX. It took many years to finally get to the point where I stopped living on hope and started living in reality---the reality that I wanted more than he could give.
I stopped asking "why does he act that way?" and started asking "why do I put up with it?"
I stopped thinking I could make him happy, or fix our marriage myself, or get him to deal with his problems, and started to ask what made ME happy, what I want in a relationship, what I was willing to sacrifice to stay in this marriage. It turned out, I wasn't willing to sacrifice my own needs just to make it "work," because if my needs are not getting met, IT'S NOT WORKING. He's not a bad guy, he's a wonderful guy in so many ways. But he's also emotionally paralyzed, and that doesn't work for me.
The world is filled with people who actually want to give and receive love. Just because you're not married to one doesn't mean they don't exist. Come to Opposite Land, and see how you like it. I think you will want to stick around awhile...