What's Left To Lose?As the wife in a SM - and how do we define that anyway? For me it has been 4.5 years without even an overture on his part - then before that it went 6 years. I digress. As the wife in a SM I often wonder about all of the things I've heard: "He must have someone else - men can't really turn off their sex drive " (I don't believe that) or "He must be gay"
Yes, things change over the years. We have had health issues I gained some weight - then lost it, he gained a lot of weight and I suspect he has low testosterone but he hates needles and refuses to see a doctor. So the weeks become months and the years go by.
He won't discuss the issue. I've asked, tempted, suggested, etc. He just won't talk about it and we sleep on different shifts - I go to the couch when he falls asleep because his snoring is bad - and he flails a lot and has very big arms, so I've had a few shiners.
I used to feel ugly and desperate, and damaged. Maybe I am damaged, but I don't feel believe I'm ugly or unlovable. He says of course he loves me...he might even smile and the offer to make me some tea. He's smart and funny and we used to have so much. It's hard, I don't want anyone else. But when no sex becomes no hugs, then no touching, then no interaction or connection - well I just don't know what more there is to lose.