Sex? No. Intimacy...not Much. I'm Trying To Deal With It The Best I Can.

My wife IS going through a difficult time now, but that is not a major issue. Previously, we had not had sex for almost a year, because she didn't want to.

She told me that she basically has no interest in sex any more. We had sex 6 times last year. My second favourite thing is kissing. My CEO has never kissed me. She also doesn't like holding hands, or cuddling very often, or spending very much time with me. Sometimes she is open to one of more of the above.

This is hard on me....My favourite is Sex, then Kissing, then spending time together as a couple...and she basically does not want to do any of the three, hardly ever. My fourth favorite is snow sports, which I can't do very often, because of geography. And, my fifth favourite is a physical activity which I used to do with my wife, but she can't do it any more.

Oh, and this makes it even harder for me: She is more "sexy" now than she used to be. All she wears is thong underwear, and she always dresses to show off her figure, and she started wearing a really tiny bikini and very high heels when appropriate. All the guys have always wanted her, and it's even more so now.

So, I have been looking for female companionship elsewhere. I love my wife, and she is the best that I have ever had....the best body, the best sex, the best ********, etc., etc....but my memories of years gone by are not enough for me now.

I meet women here and there that are interested. I love my wife, and want to stay married, and hope that she will change down the road. So, I'm looking for women who will spend time with me, in one fashion or another. I like sex, but I also like walking around holding hands and doing stuff with somebody.

I cannot have a girlfriend, because I travel a lot, and I like spending time at home with my family and my wife, when she opens herself up a little (she isn't here now...she travels a lot, also, and is happiest when she is gone). So, if I was to meet someone that I liked, I would try and spend time with her every time that I was in her city. I realize that I can't be her boyfriend, so I have no problem if she goes out with other guys. If she has a boyfriend that is OK, too, as long as I am not messing that up for her and her boyfriend.

If things go more South, and we end up divorced (I hope we can fix things and avoid a divorce), I want to meet someone special....someone that I love, and that loves me....but I do realize that it IS harder with me as I travel a lot...and for some women it would not work, as they want their SO home with them every night.
7gj7 7gj7
51-55, M
5 Responses Jan 23, 2013

Mate i would be betting that your missus is having an affair. I have studied this issue extensively and all your signs are pointing that way.

I recently cuaght my wife out 3 days after she met somenone becuase i knew how to read the signs.

In your case i'll go through the red flags you can ignore at your own peril.

1) No sex for ages
2) Looking sexier than ever. (Possibly to impress the other man in her life)
3) Wearing sexy G strings ( If she aint putting it out to you why does she need to bother with this little piece of eqipment? (Unless she is showing it off elsewhere)
4) Wanting to spend little time wiith you. ( This frees her time up elsewhere)

Tell me brother 7gi7 does she have a password on her phone or is she secretive and takes the phone everywhere?

Your marriage has problems and definately you need to protect your self and visit a lawyer soon.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

I don't think my wife is having an affair. But, it she is, that is her business and I stay out of her business. I would actually prefer it if she did have an affair IF that was to increase her sex drive and we started having a lot of sex and intimacy...I would prefer that to the way it is now.

More women, but sometimes men, choose not to have, or not to have very much, sex. If both of the partners agree, then this is OK. The #1 problem with relationships in the US (and I assume the world?) is sexual partner wants it a lot more than the other.

To those of us like myself and Wildxxxgoddess, it does not make sense that a partner would not want to have sex. However, we are on the end of the spectrum where we want to have a lot of sex and/or intimacy. So, it is difficult for us to understand someone who is on the low end of the sex/intimacy scale.

I know that God sent us here to experience life. I think THE best thing in life is to have great sex with someone you love, and the next best thing is to have great sex.

I think you'll find in this group Brother 7, is that there is deep dysfunction in the marriage, and the lack of sexual expression in the marriage is a symptom of that.
It ain't "just the sex".

I'd invite you to do this. Cast your mind back to when you and your missus negotiated this "low" or "no" sexual expression deal. How you both arrived at this position. It is, after all, a pretty important component of a marriage that you would not take lightly.
See, I'd be betting that there was no discussion, let alone agreement on your part. I'd bet she simply made a unilateral choice and you didn't even get a vote.

If that's so, I'd invite you to look at other aspects of your marriage that nominally require the agreement of the two spouses. Like kids. Like where you live. Like who are your friends. Like where you go on holidays. All sorts of ****.
Are these choices made on a "we" basis ? Or are they made on a "me" (her) basis ? Are YOUR needs ever at the forefront of her thinking (to the same extent that you place her needs at the forefront of your thinking ?)

It is worth asking ourselves these questions.
It is worth truthfully answering ourselves too, though we might not like the answers.

Tread your own path.

i would like to remind some people that there are just as much men who reject their wives as women who reject their husbands.

Yes the amount of refused women on these boards is an eye opener

yeah, sorry its a pet peave of mine whenever ppl think its always women who reject

I do my best to accommodate my wife. If she wants sex or attention, then she gets it, EXCEPT when I am not home. Since I am not home about 1/2 the time, that can be a problem. If my wife were to need someone, or sex really bad, and I wasn't going to be home for the next 2 or 3 weeks, and she had some kind of relationship with that person, I would not blame or judge her.
I love my wive, and want to make love to her as many times as practical, and just spend time with her...I am available.

2 More Responses

At sometime in the very near future, you'd do well to go and see a lawyer in your jurisdiction to see how a divorce would shake out for you.

There are two main reasons why this would be a smart play, and there are a number of secondary reasons as well.

You are at heightened risk of your marriage ending in divorce.
1 - by your own choice, when and if you get sick enough of her refusive behaviour and decide it is time to end it.
2 - by her choice, in the event she catches you cheating and kicks your arse out of there.

Other reasons this could come about.
You finding your "soul mate" in your adventures.
Her finding her "soulmate" (there are strong signals in your story that she is at least looking)

Your divorce risk is very high. It would be smart to prepare for that now, as these situations can and do often blow up extra-ordinarily quickly.

Tread your own path.

As I stated in this story, she is the best at sex that I ever had, and gives the best BJs I have ever had.....but that kind of makes it worse when you don't have sex....I remember how great it was and wonder why she has stopped....

If it makes you feel any is not hard to find someone who is good at sex. Among adults who love each other, amazing sex is not rare, especially if both parties listen to each other and do what the other likes - in other words, lovers are made, not born. If your worst fear come true and everything turns to ****, don't worry - you will find a partner who is just as good, hell, actually better, because you will probably find someone who actually loves you.

Had a look at your Jan 6th story in another group to see if it helped put this story into some sort of context.

In your other story you appear to be involved in an environment brimming with oral sex at least, so I figure that you are cheating extensively on your missus, or the other story is bullshit. Or this one is. Maybe both.

Tread your own path.

I don't understand why woman don't want to have sex with there husbands i think someone is soo sexy and he's married and his wife doesn't want it if i got married which i don't want. to for a longtime i want to just have so much passion i couldn't live without it its hard now bc my ex broke up with me and i really want pure_@ passion but its soo hard good luck we are sexual beings and i feel like it would be hell to marry someone and stop having sex

Everyone is different. To me, I don't understand why people don't want sex, either....but the range of sexual desire here in Earth is AMAZING!