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The Die Is Cast....

i have just come from the atty's office. she's drafting the complaint, i signed the signature page & she'll send the full complaint to me for my blessing.

end result, the complaint will be filed with the court on monday.

i have homework: papers & docs she needs from me, plus i need to do as much snooping as possible re: his stuff to try & find as much as i can that won't eat up the retainer i just gave her.

i don't really feel anything right now. she advised i don't say anything to him until i have as much info as possible. that's going to be really rough.

breathing. (as Lao would say). and oops here i go...crying too. --------------------------------- update: the papers were filed with the court yesterday. once they come back i have really limited time to speak with him & arrange for him to be served. i am rather pissed my atty didn't explain this to me last week. but the paralegal said she'll work with me on timing. real reason i am updating is we had a conversation about the debt on sun night. i asked him did he get my e mail of the 21st, he says yes. i say when did you read it, he equivocates. i say is it fair to say it has been at least a week since you've read it? yes. you don't think i deserve the courtesy of a response? well my e mail is compromised he starts. excuse me? don't we live together? you couldn't talk to me about it? he responds i told you it will be taken care of. HOW? when? pay it off now, and close the accounts! well you can't just pay off ($xx hundred thousand) overnight these things take time. (no **** Sherlock) okay how much time? a few months? Years? eight more years? we have the rest of our lives. <<<<
smithy8015 smithy8015 46-50, F 9 Responses Jan 24, 2013

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Focus on you. What's done is done...he's created the debt situation, you have chosen to leave him without it being resolved. Tally your gains and losses, and move on. I agree with Lao, this is the toughest part of the gauntlet...dig deep into yourself and rely on others whenever necessary. Stay strong :)

thanks guys. don't know why, there was a lot more i wrote and (formatted properly too!) but yet it didn't post.

i am mildly terrified at how difficult the whole process is going to be with him. he appears completely clueless about the long term effects this debt will have on all of us, and especially our daughter's near and far term future.

according to him, everything will be okay "in due time."

yah on planet clueless maybe.

anyway baz i hadn't heard that term thanks for the half smile. and yes, i am breathing. even if its more like hyper ventilating at the moment.

Focus on 'me' thinking from here on in. All communication is via your attorney. This is one of the more difficult part of the gauntlet. Keep breathing.

I have heard the erstwhile "Judge Judy refer to this as "STD" - but in her world it stands for "Sexually Transmitted Debt" (a bit of a misnomer as applied to an ILIASM shithole, but I'm sure you get the drift)

Your financial recovery has now started. There will be measurable progress to this process (unlike a shithole marriage).

Keep punching.

Tread your own path.

aww smithy. so sorry you were duped by him financially!! that sucks!! BUT, i am SO proud of you for staying strong (as strong as you can be right now) and actually FILING!! that's HUGE! sending you love and light as you go through this process. I can give you tips on snooping, i'm pretty good at that apparently. ;)

(((HUGS)))

(hug)

*hugs*

thanks zsu

xo

Apart from your EP support, and your personal IRL support network, you now have a professional in your corner as well. From that point of view, your position is stronger today than it was yesterday.
This is all good.
But it sure as **** isn't much fun.

Feeling for you Smithy.

Tread your own path.

thanks baz. can't tell you how invaluable the support &amp; the experience-based knowledge of you all is &amp; has been.