Made A Big Step, Now Freaking Out ***UPDATE!***So I haven't written in a while and have been pretty inactive on the board because things in my exit plan/divorce have been quite stagnant. The STBX made a decision that he would not go back to divorce mediation until I had a full-time job, and that was back in May '12.
So I have finally found myself a full-time job in my field, where I think I will be happy and I have struggled over the past several months with finding the right fit and not being supervised by crazy people; I'm a social worker and there are quite a few crazies in social work/counseling who shouldn't be! The job is a school counselor position at a local high school, and I start Monday.
However, now I feel nervous. I haven't worked outside of the home in years. I've had a part-time job that I work from home, so it isn't like I haven't been working at all. I am nervous about going back into a work environment with the possibility of my work and me being judged. My last full-time position ended horribly, I quit because of the way I was treated. Add to that the treatment of me by STBX has shot my self-esteem down to next to nothing. Oh, and now I face all the other big steps of moving out on my own because now I have an income to pay rent, and going back to mediation/court/finalizing the divorce. The job and moving are freaking me out more than the divorce process, that is pretty cut-and-dried, although I know there will be fights over alimony (he thinks I don't deserve it and has said so to me).
I just need to vent and hope that it helps to get this in writing. Sort of SM related! Thanks for reading.
***UPDATE*** First day today and it went really well, I was nervous but I did OK. Settled in, met a bunch of people (so far, everyone is friendly), and started putting together my office. =)