Just Talk

Sometimes from a conceptual point-of-view, I replace sex with talk, and get:

My spouse does not want to talk to me. I've written letters asking why, but just get letters back with vague replies. I have three choices:
1) Stay and remain without talking
2) Talk to others
3) Leave

When we first dated we talked often. I really miss talking a lot.

Does this gain any perspective or lose?

another question, has anybody left "I Live In a Sexless Marriage" on the computer screen and their spouse read it?

something2talkabout something2talkabout
51-55, M
6 Responses Jan 25, 2013

Funny you should mention talking...my STBX didn't like to talk to me much either.

...I'd sit there waiting for her to be ready to talk to me, and it hurt. The effort to keep from talking to her hurt; I usually hadn't seen her during the workweek...and I'd physically hurt from loneliness. Meanwhile she was right there. So If I started talking to her before she was ready, then I'd get shouted at.
...And after me getting shouted at, she'd complain that she missed me, and why was I going to bed?

"...has anybody left "I Live In a Sexless Marriage" on the computer screen and their spouse read it?" I actually did...not intentionally and I was not a member then... I did not want him to read anything and did not especially wanted to talk about anything...because of our personal situation...nevertheless... He said - I noticed you were looking for some strange things... Me- What strange things?(I did not know at the moment what exactly caught his attention)... He- about SM,what for? Me- What so strange ? I am in SM and wanted to know how other people cope.... He(with teas in his eyes(his usual trick- all the time feeling sorry for himself whatever happens), but I AM in SM too.... I did not say anything... He did not mention it again...

has anybody left "I Live In a Sexless Marriage" on the computer screen and their spouse read it?

Hell no! I only use EP on the phone so reasonably safe with my secrets in my pocket...

There seems to be more of us living non-communicative lives with our long time spouses.
I have read that once the intimacy and affection leaves a marriage, so goes the possibility of ever growing closer .... rather the space between husband and wife becomes impossible to bridge. If it wasn't for the nightly news or family events, I swear there would be no reason to communicate at all. Sad, but true

Best of luck I have also been a sexless marriage, I have been married for 40 years and sadly I never picked up on it until after the third child and then it was too late, so one become discreet and I have a couple of friendly friends that still enjoy life and believe me there are a lot of people like this, male and female also it costs too much for a split up so just make the most of it. PS I am 70

The longer I am here the more I find myself telling people to just leave their sexless marriages.

I have tried and am trying to fix mine but the doubts keep growing. It seems like I am the one that has to change and that will not guaranty that sex will return to our marriage. We talk a lot less now too.