Why Do I Bother When I'M Sure It Won'T Make Any Difference.It seems that in order to "save"our marriage, I am the one that has to make all the changes and the only promise is that there will be no promise that anything will change on the other side.
After twelve years of "not tonight", "maybe later", "it's not you", it's not your fault", all of a sudden it is all my fault and always has been. I am a horrible person and am verbally abusive.
According to the book once accused of abuse the only chance at redemption is to totally submit and never ever try and defend yourself. You must admit that you are scum and even if you are from now forever forward perfect in every way you are not allowed to expect any kindness in return.
I'll admit to being grouchy at times but I do not call my wife names and I do not do or say things to embarrass or belittle her but apparently I am worse than a man who beats his wife.
I will give all this the benefit of doubt and do what I can to be a much less grouchy person but in the end I expect something in return. In the mean time I get to put up with getting yelled at about what a rotten person I am for ten minutes at a stretch for having said the wrong thing.