Ready For A Marriage Breakdown

I'm a 32 year old married man. My wife and I have been married for about 3 years and we've been together for 6. We originally met back in 1997 on the Official Star Trek website chat rooms. we had a relationship that lasted for about 2 years. During the time we were together, back in the day, she convinced me to go to her church. I enjoyed it. Long story short, I got saved on July 23, 1998. several months later we were separated by her family. I had no way to contact her for several years so i tried moving on and i met my first wife. It started out good until she began to be abusive. I ended up having 4 beautiful girls with my first wife until i had my last beating from her and she had me removed from my own house so she could move her boyfriend in. During my exile before i got back on my feet my first Girlfriend called me out of the blue at my dad's house. and we mended out friendship. fast forward 3 years and we were married. We have not had much of a sex life and it has always been very disturbing to me. Most nights i cry myself to sleep. I keep asking myself why.......
There have been many times during the course of our marriage that i have attempted to have a discussion about our intimate relationship and she refused to talk about it. Like she hated the fact that i would even bring it up. The times between intimate encounters keeps getting longer and longer. After a 6 hour time of intense fellowship yesterday she finally confessed to me that she does not like sex, does not desire sex, does not desire me sexually, and would be happy if we never had sex again.
I am insanely hurt by this. I have had the thoughts of an affair on my mind but for one i don't think i could and two i have no one. I have also been contemplating divorce. And i keep having this verse running around my skull 1Cor 7:3-4 (NRS) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
For the wife does not have authority over her own body,
but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Tearfulhusband Tearfulhusband
31-35, M
5 Responses Jan 28, 2013

Has she talked with her doctor about this to see if it's related in some way to her health or any medication she might be taking? Have you considered going to a counselor together? There are wonderful Christian therapists who work with couples that are having intimacy problems in their marriage. I know Focus on the Family has a Christian counselor referral service for free.
Seems to me you would want to pursue these avenues as opposed to considering divorce or having an affair. I hope you can work things out.....praying for you, friend.

The best case is it moves from "she does not like sex, does not desire sex, does not desire me sexually, and would be happy if we never had sex again" to "she does not like sex, does not desire sex, does not desire me sexually, and would let me have sex with her just to keep me happy". Is that really going to be okay for both of you? If not, the best solution for the two of you is not an affair, but a divorce.

I agree with angryguy77, if things dont improve you need to think about leaving. A marriage is not suppose to be like that. You deserve better.

I hope things improve.

You certainly seem to be able to attract dipsticks as life partners.

That might be where you way forward can begin. Foregoing any sort of relationship until such time as your bullshit antenna are fully developed and can guide you through these travails.

Tread your own path.

I will correct your wifes untruthfulness. She does like sex, she does desire sex, and she does want to have sex again just not with you.

She has informed you loud and clear of her intentions it is now time that you presented her your bill and moved on.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

i don't necessarily agree. it could be true that she doesn't like sex. regardless tearful, do pay close attention to what is happening and how you are treated..don't stay too long if you don't like it. sorry for your suffering