No Sex And Doesn'T Care

Imagine you are single, saddled with supporting a single mother and child purely as charity, in a 200% platonic relationship. You might be rewarded with a much-anticipated marriage disintegration once she realizes that you genuinely are doing what you do for no return at all.

Just to add, my hobbies included woodworking, something I really enjoy. I've made all kinds of things for my daughter and some small furniture pieces for all like an entryway bench. I stopped because of constantly being accused of spending all my time.... I work all day, do chores all night, it's sucks, but that's life, I guess. I mean, grocery shop, cook, laundry, baths for kiddo, not to mention repair anything with the vehicles and house. I know this is not the life i want but figure someday she'll come around. I fear she'll force my hand by cheating and blame me.

-----" I don't want to leave but what else can I do?"

There is a lot you can do even right now. Take a stand for yourself and live your life. Discharge your domestic responsibilities, care for your child and take care of yourself. STOP being a doormat. It is very UNHOT and your wife does not respect it.

You might want to seek individual therapy to provide you the tools you need to do all of that. I read where you have given everything up for this marriage, and that is a fatal move. No one is going to applaud, least of all your wife - your eradication of your own personhood.

Once you get yourself squared away and in a more healthy place mentally and emotionally, then a path to what you need to do for your future might become more clear.

For any change to occur you need two willing participants, without that, I'm afraid you are all alone. Sounds like she needs help but she is too proud to ask for it.

In this dysfunctional game she is that far ahead of you it doesn't matter.

She knows that when you said you were "going to leave" that you were bullshitting her, and thus your threat achieved nothing other than to pump a 38 slug squarely into your own foot.

You threw away your only negotiating card. If you are not prepared to go "all in", then in truth, you are not even in the game.

It is a very bad strategy to claim you are prepared to go "all in" - to attempt a reconstruction of the relationship in the full knowledge that another outcome may well be the blowing up of the marriage - if you aren't prepared to go the full distance. It simply trashes your credibility.

You may have to slink away, lick your wounds, and rebuild your credibility. That will take quite some time I should think.

If you ever choose to play that card again, it is imperative that before you do, that you are prepared to risk everything.

Tread your own path.

She's shifting the goal posts and has you dancing to her tune. Unhot. Time to take a stand for you and your family.

Granted this is only my side. Hers is most likely far different. She'll compare me to other husbands but when I do the same she'll just say other husbands do this or that. I seriously can't do anymore, I don't go out with friends, I don't do anything for myself like hobbies, she could make it all worth while if she would just give it up. It's been a year and I don't know what to do.

I need therapy supposedly for depression.

Why does she think you need therapy?

Unless she's willing to change, there isn't much you can do. As you've found out like so many of us, no amount of cleaning, flowers, etc. will change a refuser.