I Met Someone Beautiful (Part5)

Hello group
It has been quite some time since my last update...and since some folks requested I do so, I will share.

The lovely lady that came into my life as a friend before my seperation and as a lover afterwards continues to astound me with her genuine love and her honest desire to just 'be with me' in every sense of the word.

I have told my ex and the kids that I am dating her, and at some point in the near future my kids will meet her...and then her kids will meet mine.
We made it through the holidays and while it was a difficult time being away for part of it from my kids; it was better than how I felt last year when I lived under the same roof with my wife at the what does that tell you!

We talk daily and there haven't been any bumps in the road. I have started to share the relationship news with my friends and they just beam because they see how truly happy I am these days and they all want to meet her. Our social calendars certainly won't have gaps !

So 7 months into a seperation, and a relationship that slowly is ramping up from a first date and a walk; to where we are today. All I can say is there hope folks. There is someone out there for you, if you finally decide that your current spouse truly isn't that person. It hasn't been all fun and games...that is true. I don't have the same things I had before...used furniture now...used appliances. But all that is just stuff. I prefer being happy...and she make s me happy beyond my wildest dreams.


Beaverman Beaverman 41-45, M 7 Responses Jan 30, 2013

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Hi Beaverman! I hope you are enjoying snuggling up to your new sweetie, as this cold front blows into the Great White North. Best wishes for a long and happy relationship! UJ

And blowing it is doing for sure !

im happy for you


Hi Beaverman,

Thanks for another uplifting update from the "other side". I enjoy all your posts, but wonder a bit if you are moving too fast? In counseling, I am being told to take it slow after my divorce and not even date for a least a year. I think that is good advice because we (the refused) are so very emotionally vulnerable. I doubt very much that I will be able to hold-out for a year...especially if I actually meet a woman such as you describe. I am happy for you and look forward to your posting of Part 6.

Cheers for you Beaverman!

I actually had no intention of dating. I was going to take a while and just adjust to my new reality. But as fate would have it...a wonderful friend became something more....and so I am following it through...but yes I am moving slowly. One thing about this relationship is that there is a fair bit of distance in geography between it sort of forces the slow hand. That has advantages allowing for caution on both of our sides.

I mean you no ill will by this Brother B, but I hope you DO hit a bump in the road soon.

You will then be introduced to the sheer delight of discussing a problem, and RESOLVING IT. This is a thing of beauty in a functional relationship. Imagine that. A problem, an honest discussion about it, input from you both, and RESOLVEMENT !!!

A wonderful thing. A thing that does NOT happen in dysfunctional shitholes.

Tread your own path.

Actually bazzar we have hit a pothole or two and have talked it out within hours.
And you are right...such a wonderful experience to acknowledge an issue, bring it into the light, talk about it like adults...and come to a resolution.
I had forgotten they even happened until I read your post because they didn't escalate or worse, get shoved into a dark corner of the denial closet.

"Nothing says go **** Yourself more than being told as a married man that I should go check out a sex expo by myself; for myself.
And I don't think she had a clue how what she was saying was so 'not normal'."

You wrote this in your first ILIASM story two years ago. I remind you of it now because I can imaine just HOW differently your girlfriend would respond!! Isn't it wonderful to have a partner that enthusiastically embraces LIFE with you?!

I'm so very happy things are working out so well for you. And I appreciate you sharing your update - because these updates are very helpful to those still working their way through the ILIASM "disaster".

Every best wish for you and your new partner to have a wonderful happy SEXY future together!! {{{hugs}}}

I have actually been around for over 5 yrs ...but I stupidly deleted my account and then regretted it and came back...and all my former stories went away as well.
But I know exactly what you mean...My girlfriend (sounds weird to say at my age--but) while being embarassed to go...happily would join me and even shop ! The same as she did when I was buying new baking sheets !
I have used appliances and hand me downs of all kinds...and I have never been happier. I enjoy my kids...and my refound sex life. And by the is like riding a bike or skating...a bit shakey at first...but man does it come back to you once you get into the swing of things :)

:) :) :) I know what you mean!!!

So totally with you! I left in August and even though sometimes I really miss my boys just not being miserable all the time is joy! Even my boys (5 years old) tell me "Daddy you smile and laugh a lot more now" and that just told me I was absolutely right in my decision. I haven't found anyone new (and to be totally frank am NOT looking... too much hurt yet to want to expose myself emotionally again), but still wouldn't trade being alone for being so desperately 'stuck' in unhappiness. Good luck Bman and nice to hear things are going so well for you... and as you so clearly understand... 'it's just stuff' you use so who gives a damn how old it is, or how 'not modern'?

And I have my kids half the week each week...which while not ideal ( i'd like to have them all week every week) it doesn't hurt as much as not at all.
My kids and friends both have said I am much happier too !

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"There is someone out there for you, if you finally decide that your current spouse truly isn't that person. " Yes, indeed.

So happy for you, Beaverman!