Is He Stupid?After more than 10 yrs, of a miserable, sexless, intimacy void marriage, He really expects to give me a "crumb" and make everything better. Like I can just turn my emotions back on, and forget the years of neglect I've experienced. Is he THAT STUPID? I know part of "loving" is a choice, however, would you chose to put your hand on a hot skillet? If it's burnt you once... it'll burn you again. It won't be until you turn off the stove, let it cool down, and test it to prove it won't hurt you, before you pick it up again. Right?
A hug won't make it all better. Heck, a kiss won't make it all better. SEX wouldn't make it all better. What will make it better is consistent effort. WORK!! I really don't understand why that is so difficult to understand!
He just doesn't "get " it... he has no clue. I've said it.... my actions say it. Is he completely stupid?
His lack of effort just says to me over and over, "I really don't care", "Nothing will ever be different", "I don't want anything more than what we have". What I need really doesn't matter... as long as he's okay, in his mind "we're ok".
I woke up this morning angry. Angry, that I ask him for so little, and he can't seem to care enough to even try. After 24 years, it's not worth the effort. Is he so stupid to think that marriage and relationships, "just happen"?