Taking ActionMy toes are inching forward toward the edge of the precipice. I am scared of heights, so my chest is tight and I am fighting my body's natural urge to freeze. In order to preserve my own life, I have to move forward.
I am on the cusp of entering the unknown. I wish I could sneak a peek at it. A window into the future that would reassure me that I am taking the right steps. A good portion of my reluctance, however; comes from the inability to trust myself, yet I recognise there is nothing left for me in the past except deafening alarm bells signalling continued rejection and neglect.
Change is inevitable. I should welcome it, embrace it even, but the process of becoming different is painful. I can only hope that one day I will be able to look at my scars, and tenderly recall how I survived.
With this agonizing experience as my starting point, I have nowhere to go but up. I must take a leap of faith.
Unjusted 36-40, F 4 Responses 2 Jan 31, 2013