The Final Talk Or The Interval?

Am 26 married for 5, seven years of being together n i feel like its coming to an end already. sex was on the everyday menu till my wife got pregnant n like every good thing that was the end of my sex life. everybody suffered during the gfc one way or another, that time i was jobless and my wife pregnant, our situation was quite bad but we were really happy for we suffering for our future baby. i had to look for work and couldnt find a proper job to make a proper caring for the family, job were being at a rate of as low as $50 a day and ihad to do it, no choice.i love my wife more than anything else but after the baby was born things dramatically changed to worse..when at first i asked her she she dont feel like, ok. the she doesnt really like it now then she dont like it anymore n that was like nearly 9 months later. i start wondering whats wrong, try talking her out but she wouldnt open up, then she start playing the work n stress then it was already pass a year and the kid was already start getting serious abt it and finally yesterday after the guests left i asked her to sit we needed to talk abt where our relationship's standing and she tried to avoid it. persisting i got her to sit n talk. she keep telling me that she dont like it, when i persisted she says that she dont like sex anymore she just dont feel anything for me, no love or compassion anymore. i was like thunder struck i do everything i can to keep her happy i try everything n now she dont even care. she dont like me or any other guy or girl. she just want to b alone, ok i understand she was 21 when she was pregnant and she wants to live her life, yeah sure but am i not part of that life like i ve been for the last 7 years! now she wants to split to go her way n get her career back on trck n do som saving. ok so i asked if she wants a divorce coz she says that its all my fault she wont achieve anything as long as she s with me. if staying away from me she will be more happy so be it, if shes happy then am more than happy, but she dont even want a divorce she just want a break but she s not sure for how long, my son is nearly 2 and since he born we had sex maybe 3 or 4 time i dont even know wat to do wat do think or where to seek counsel, and i am more than happy when she said she dont want a divorce but for how long will this i can get anywhere but not love...pls someone shed som light in my dark moment..i need it
kelvinbeau kelvinbeau
26-30, M
3 Responses Feb 1, 2013

I have no words of wisdom, just wanted to say thoughts are with you, and all i do know for sure is you can't make someone love or want you. I wish you courage whatever the outcome x

When women make statements like "just dont feel anything for me, no love or compassion anymore" it tends to be irreparable. Suggest you completely stop sex to not have a second child, and if you want to try to rekindle love, even though it usually fails, you give her all your attention for six months, from helping out around the place to taking her out, and then look her in the eyes and ask "you don't really love me anymore?"

<p>ba<x>sed ONLY on what you have written here (as there is nothing else on EP from you), this looks to be done.</p><p>She wants "out", for a while at least, maybe permanently.</p><p>The break may be a terrific idea.</p><p>It would give her a chance to think about what she wants in her future.</p><p>It would give you a chance to do ths same - as presumably you do not want to waste your time in a relationship where "she just dont feel anything for me, no love or compassion anymore".</p><p>You'll always be co-parents, but that appears to be your only connection now.</p><p>Tread your own path.</p>