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Ready To Live!!!

Throughout our marriage (28 years, 4 kids) although we've had problems, we were always passionate and had an amazing sex life, which I think has actually held us together.
My hubby has had a meltdown for the past 3 years. He had numerous affairs...1 serious affair and many one night stands...sord of like he's lost his mind.. All the while swearing that he did love me and want only me...fast forward 6 months..although I do not suspect an affair..we seldom have sex..and if we do it is because I initiate it. It's not the sex I'm missing its the connection. When we have sex it's like he is "servicing" me. Last night I couldn't take the rejection anymore quietly. Of course I made my advances, and he refused...then we got into a Hugh fight where he actually told me to go and find someone to f--- me...I stopped fighting and went to the guest room to sleep. Sleeping alone is easier than sleeping next to someone and wishing they would reach out to you...
But I am for the first time in my married life considering leaving...enough is enough...I can't make him want me, but I'm an amazing catch!! 49 and look and feel amazing. The rejection and longing is really rocking my self-esteem.

Any suggestions? I don't want to leave, but I will not live like this any longer
Missy6956 Missy6956 46-50, F 8 Responses Feb 2, 2013

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Thank you all for your responses. It has not been like this thw entire 30 years and we're great together when we're good. Weve built a life, family and a thriving business so there are many things to consider.On sundat i nought a glucose testing kit. Made a joke of testing and tested both of us. Mine was good, but his was 390 at 9am. Dr appt monday. Wednesday test results and hes a diabetic (daily injections and pills and diet) just like I thought and the test reveales that he also has a high chance for prostate cancer. Going to the urologist next week for further testing. I have known all along that something was wrong with him I just couldn't put my finger on it. He has had a cocaine habit for many years in addition, which had gotten completely out of control these last few.He is wandering around the house like a lost pup and I know he is scared of next week. I am sooo ANGRY! He had the world by the tail and pissed it away. A big part.of me wants to forget all of the bad stuff he has done to me and now that he is sober (atleast for now) get online with life. But another big part of me wants hate it for you dumb a$$ ..karma is.a.***** and that makes me feel horrible for being that cold. UGG!!!

"Sleeping alone is easier than sleeping next to someone and wishing they would reach out to you..."
The hurt never stops.

See a lawyer in your jurisdiction to establish how a divorce will shake out for you.

It is knowledge you are going to need in the very near future so you'd do well to get a jump start on that. (Unless you husband is an idiot, he will have already started his moves along the same lines)

Catch up, and preferably get ahead of the game here. You know where this is heading, by either his instigation or yours.

Tread your own path.

he was close, he meant to say "go and find someone that loves you", and you should take up his suggestion

Knowing and feeling the hurt and pain for you, you say you dont want to leave and only you can see there is something that can be saved, but how long can you be in this suitation...to be honest Im in a sexless marriage and I dont follow my own advice but talking about its good because EP is great to express those feelings out loud without been judge....

Your husband's affairs send a strong message that he is done with the marriage. You say that you do not want to leave. Why do you want to stay? What does the marriage do for you?

You "look and feel amazing" and he ignores you says it all. You should have left during the affairs. Get out now while you are still an "amazing catch"!

There is nothing to be done here but leave.</P>The combination of his affairs AND the refusing AND him telling you to find another.<br />
<p>There is no solution here beyond divorce. Get a plan together and see a lawyer.<br />
<p>You may not want to leave but Missy - your marriage is over. You need to protect yourself.<br />
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That would be the jist of things. Time to stick a fork in this marriage. It's done.