He'S No Doubt The Love Of My Life, My SoulmateI have been dating a married man for 4 years (He is in a broken marriage no itamacy no sex but they are friends and share two college age children)
He is 18 years older than me and it was love at first sight ...The first year was no expectations and fun...The fun was realizing we were falling in love it was mutual...From there we fell deeper and deeper. I look in his eyes and I can see my own eyes(There is something familiar and deep there...He feels the same.
We are best friends and when we are together ...The world gets small ....We get lost in each other and dont need to use words to communicate. Sex, Itamacy and friendship are all there. we have broke up several times thru the years ...He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me ,That he has never felt a connection or thought a woman was more beautiful then he has with me and does not know if he can live with out me in his life. He calls me the love of his life. I feel exactly the same. Everytime he wants to leave his wife ...He can't .....He does not understand why. Because he loves her but he's not in love with her.
His main concern is his relationship will change with his boys(they are in college) They are the "apple of his eye" as it should be. If he left and they hated him for hurting their mother. I would feel horrible!
His other concern is he is 18 years older than me. I told him when i look at the handsome face...I see no age(But he is inseccure about it) I am positive I only want him...I love him like my daughters 9&10(I am divorced) I thought about all the things like he may pass before me someday or Sex may be an issue.(his main concern!!!) I would rather have any amount of time with this man then be with anyone else.I said if we truly love each other together we can overcome anything if we want to. He can't get over these concerns and is seeing a therapist to work thru this. He says he doesnt know where he will stand or what side he will come out after therapy ..But he does not want to hold me back....I deserve better then standing still waiting in the unknown.(missed holidays,Birthdays,weekends and limited time sometimes text only or talking during the business day has been torture for me thru the four years)....(He says that bothers him and hurts him to see me like that) Please comment....Will his relationship change with his boys? Will our age gap be a problem(he's 54..Im 35)?
Should I wait for him to work thru his concerns and finding what will make him happy in life? I want to wait for him ....I just don't know if he will ever leave.
We are both suffering emotionally from this relationship ....we love each other so much....But he can't bring himself to get a divorce b/c of the concerns he has. HELP!!!!!!!!!!! Please share your advice....
completelynumb 31-35, F 9 Responses 0 Feb 2, 2013