Sad And Unsatisfied

Recently discovered my husband has been watching sex videos on his phone. I don't know exactly but I suspect he pleases himself this way on a daily basis. I was wondering why he would come home from work horny. Then he wanted to start making his own movies. I agreed because I thought it might spice things up a bit. But now I think the only reason he wants to have sex is because of the videos he watches. Recently he refused my offer to try something new in the bedroom anal sex I thought it would make him happy. Then I caught him in the bathroom watching movies on his phone !!!! And pleasing himself. Only an hour after he refused me. I am very hurt by this I feel like he's cheating on me when he does this. Makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him. That he only wants to be with me as a last resort. And that really hurts breaks my heart.
jenerfly jenerfly
36-40, F
13 Responses Feb 4, 2013

<p>Ok i'm going to lay this out for you one more time.<br />
next time you are aware of his phone activity make<br />
sure you are fully dressed and you have a strap, hair brush, cane, <br />
than approch him sternly pointing what ever you have in your hand, <br />
warning him the next time you catch him playing with himself you will blister his ***!<br />
Now if he has a submissive bone in his body, he will make it very easy for you to catch<br />
him next time?If he does'nt want to play than you have a problem?<br />
Now confront him with FEMALE LED MARRIAGE! Still no response<br />
sorry, why should you suffer in this relationship, a divorce might be in order?</P>

Don't become the thought police. It isn't a crime to think about someone else while diddling yourself. Apparently sexless marriages are far more common than I thought. But this does require a serious heart to heart. Sometimes we grow to resent the thought of being possessed, and that is what marriage is. Don't be hurt because of his thoughts, but it is okay to be hurt by actions.

Thats the funniest short story ive read for ages ......sorry im in a sexless marriage for the last 7 years .. jealous or what ....hes mad x

You offered anal and he didn't jump in, is he human?

No I don't think he is! He had been asking for years !!!!!

I am in sexless marriage for past 2 years and here after reading your story i feel jealous of your husband....

He had been asking for years? and you kept refusing? I think maybe he gave up on the idea of doing that with you. I see some sexual flustration o n his part.

Yes it's hurts...I too have a sexless marriage and I too have found my husband on the internet watching ****. At first I wanted to throw-up and then I just wanted to get away, but I'm still here and I still live in a sexless marriage. Good luck I have no advise!!!!!!!!:(

Its time to put Female led relationship into action!

It could be worse. **** and ************ is safe sex. is it cheating? Well its cheating you because to refuse is is totally wrong. but on the other hand I rather my man watch and want me rather than him looking for it physically out there. Don't think of yourself as the last resort you are his wife and he should come to you. Communicate what exactly does it do for him and express your needs as his wife. Refusing you can also lead to you seeking comfort and release else where.

somtimes i wish i lived in the 1920s way before all these techy toys became popular.

in many ways phones, computers are just another high tech sex toy..

Funny you should mention that Gyps. Last time I was looking at **** on the net (purely for 'research' as you would no doubt appreciate !!!!!) I happened across some vintage B&amp;W stuff that looked like about 1920's. It was pretty good.

OK OK, it wasn't 'research'. I was just looking at ****.

Now Now Now bazzar lol

You have a couple choices here. You can accept the fact that sometimes hes going to watch **** and pleasure himself ( something the average guy within a marriage does twice a week anyways ) or you can express your discust... and push him away till your marriage fails.

Well sounds like the videos helped with sex. Did you ask him why he refused and then watch the videos? Find out if he opens up to you. If he feels you really just want to please then he might share more.

Yes it's hurts.. May be he is trying to learning new things from videos.. which will apply to you only..

As Sister lohla says, he IS cheating on you. It is cheating by omission rather than cheating by rooting someone else, but cheating just the same.

Is a cheating spouse a dealbreaker for you ?

Tread your own path.

It IS cheating on you- if you are being neglected and that would upset me greatly. You have every right to be hurt. I'm really sorry you're going through this. How long have things been this way?

Well we haven't been having much sex at all until he got a new smart phone. Then he wanted it all the time now I just figured out why.

Huh. I never thought about it this way. After first baby's conception, we didn't have sex for more than 2 years. Caught him looking a **** when the kidlet was 8 months. And NOW I'm feeling sad? The kidlet is almost 9! Sigh.

Yea this is one of the things that got to me the most during the worst of the sexlessness. When I discovered the ****, it automatically ruled out health/arousal issues, homosexuality, lack of desire for release etc. So the only thing left was pure neglect.

Ugh. Why do you have to make so much sense, girl crush of mine? It *is* neglectful when he's not initiating with me. :(

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