For anyone out there who is dealing with a narcissistic refuser, I have learned a new strategy for dealing with mine and it is working wonderfully so far. I am showering him with compliments. Someone who already thinks only of themselves is a sucker for being told they are wonderful. So while the divorce is moving forward (slowly) and I am living my own life, he no longer feels the need to battle me. By telling him what a great father and provider he is, although he never has been, he has stopped trying to sabotage my actions and the house has been calm. Another part of this is telling him that I am just overly emotional, which is something he has always said about me. Yes it is all lies, but effective lies. I think this plan is going to enable me to establish my own life while we are still living together.