Dealing With A Narcisscist

For anyone out there who is dealing with a narcissistic refuser, I have learned a new strategy for dealing with mine and it is working wonderfully so far. I am showering him with compliments. Someone who already thinks only of themselves is a sucker for being told they are wonderful. So while the divorce is moving forward (slowly) and I am living my own life, he no longer feels the need to battle me. By telling him what a great father and provider he is, although he never has been, he has stopped trying to sabotage my actions and the house has been calm. Another part of this is telling him that I am just overly emotional, which is something he has always said about me. Yes it is all lies, but effective lies. I think this plan is going to enable me to establish my own life while we are still living together.
Maleficent77 Maleficent77
31-35, F
6 Responses Feb 7, 2013

You are so smart, and wise! My admiration, Madame.

little update: in response to one of my "aren't you great" comments today STBX decided to make a confession to me. He has been hiding money, but has now decided to put it in our bank account. I don't even think my face betrayed me as I said, "That would be really helpful right now and I really appreciate you thinking of us" (meaning me and the kids). I could throw up.

The old "shine him on strategy".

Good on you Sister M.

Tread your own path.

Keep feeding his ego until you are rid of him. The trick to a peaceful divorce and to get the outcomes desired is to make him think he is so great and he has beaten you into submission.

You seem to have it worked out sister Maleficent77

Stay Strong & Good Luck

Lol, nice!!

Sounds like a good coping strategy... I hope it works for you. Don't leave a paper trail though... "I want custody, she SAID I was a great father, now she's saying I'm not???"