Dead EndsFeeling a little down today.
I spent some time last night reading some of the literally thousands of stories posted here - mostly rooting around in enna30's treasure trove of goodies. Anyway, one of her stories in particular really struck a chord - it was the one about Refusers where she broke them down into different groups, etc - I know there has been a lot of discussion and analysis on here about that.
Anyway...one of the Refuser categories fit my wife to a T (because, you know, she is one) - and it got me thinking about all the time (and frankly, money) we've spent in counseling. My wife told me yesterday that the counselor was suggesting we do some intensive sessions to clear resentment (I posted about this in the comments on enna's story - forgive me for repeating myself) - and while I didn't agree to do it, I found myself wondering about whether it would be worth it. Then I read the Refuser story - and realized it would be a waste of yet more time and money.
I really do believe counseling is worth doing...but only if it gets you where you want to go. In our case, I'm now realizing these kinds of avenues are dead-ends. The expensive and time-consuming exercise proposed by our therapist won't make my wife want to have sex with me any more than any of the other things we've tried - why would it? The problem between us isn't relational - it is my wife's issue, not mine.
Right? Or am I missing something?
AMusicalMind 46-50, M 7 Responses 1 Feb 8, 2013