Wow, Now Not Sexless, But Craving Emotional Intimacy With The Sex!For too long in my 2nd marriage I have accepted the whole sexless thing. I have recently put my foot down and have given my spouse the right of first refusal (meaning that i told her that I would outsource if she kept refusing me). I am now getting relief of some sort every other day, but it is not emotionally satisfying.
I have not been with many women in my life (my first true love, my first wife and my current wife, a total of three women). When I am with a woman, I am in it full tilt! I really feel close when communing physically with my partner and I have not cavalierly shared myself with someone who I did not love.
I am doing what my wife wants of me (lose weight and grow out my hair (she likes the bad boys)). I try to engage her in cuddling and deep conversation, but she tells me that I am a chick! I do everything to emotionally commune with her, but to no avail. I ask her to tell me what she desires sexually, but she will not give that information. I feel lost. She tells me that I am too emotional and that my needs are not sustainable.
Truth be told, sex is necessary, but not necessarily sufficient, for my happiness in a relationship. WRT sex, my wife complains of a sideways ovary (intercourse is painful), a hand injury (handjobs are painful), TMJ (giving oral is painful), so that leaves me with doing it with her armpit or her grimacing while she allows me intercourse. Regardless, I always give her oral and take her to ****** when she will allow it before I get off.
I still feel emotionally empty. I crave the emotional and physical, and am only getting half-hearted physical, but no emotional.
Maybe I am expecting too much and should be happy with what I have. Who knows? In any case, sorry for venting and I hope others fare better than I am doing now.
sojourner999 41-45, M 15 Responses 1 Feb 9, 2013