My Update

Its been many months since I posted my story. So, I will give you a quick version of the original story.

I was in a CL relationship for 15 years and in May, I decided that after my 45th birthday that I no longer wanted to live like I was. He did not acknowledge my birthday or our 15 year anniversary. That was, the straw that broke the camel's back. We hadn't been intimates for quite some time and lived as room mates. He was happy to exist and I wanted more from a relationship. I knew that as a partner he couldn't give me what I needed. Not just sexually but in many ways. I had felt this for many years but I got comfortable, lazy, complacent, etc..

We put our condo up for sale back in August and its been a challenge living under the same roof with him until it sold. Throughout the Christmas season we had no one coming through to look at the condo so as time passed, I began to get more frustrated and felt as if life was being put on hold. We carried on living separate lives and  four months ago I even began dating. He knew I was dating and I told him out of respect so that he had no illusions of us ever getting back together. His reply, As long as you are safe and happy..  I would not bring anyone to what was once our home out of respect for what was. 

Fast forward, our condo has sold! Closing date is March 28th! Now, I am on a search for somewhere to live. It seemed like a long time but 10 months is nothing compared to being in something long term and not having the courage to leave because you are too scared to make the break.

I wanted to share my story because I know* there are other women and men out there that are putting their life on hold because of the finances, kids, comfort, etc.. Short term pain can equal long term gain.

seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
36-40, F
6 Responses Feb 10, 2013

The anniversary comment really resonated with me. We haven't celebrated ours for years. Now, it has become a reminder to me that my life is slipping a way. Isn't that sad. I have been taking the longest path to a new life though. I don't want to trash the past or future of my family so, it is taking me years and sometimes, it feels like I am moving forward by inch by inch. As with you, the economy is among other difficulties. Much happiness to you

Wishing U lots of happiness.

Goodluck to you.

Excellent. I am happy to read that you are doing so much better.


That "short term pain for long term gain" is super applicable in the ILIASM world.

Doing something NOW (that you don't want to do because it is going to hurt, don't want to have to do because it is going to be difficult) for a later result that is in your longer term best interests, is the way forward.

It is "me" thinking at its' most practical level.

Loved your story. Rated UP !!

Tread your own path.