It's been more than 7 years since I was single. I go through times when I am sure that I've thrown those memories into the attic of my mind and I'm not going to pull them out again. I'm happier when that's the case. Or perhaps it's like the movie "Inception". I think I'm happier, when I can't remember the days when I was truly happy.

Today I woke up and went about my daily routine, I dropped my kids off at school and for whatever reason, I just started thinking how long it has been since I was decently kissed. In the movie "That Thing You Do", there's a point where Guy asks Fay "How long has it been since you were properly kissed. I mean, good and kissed?"

I shudder for anyone to ask me that question.

From the time I was in the sixth grade I knew I loved kissing, even though it was a rarity. Once high school girlfriends arrived, I was often deemed a gentlemen for my slow progression towards anything sexual. I can't say that I was honorable as much as I truly loved a sweet kiss. Or a passionate kiss. Or a wistful goodbye kiss.

As I matured, I never lost my desire to kiss and be kissed. In lovemaking, kissing is essential for me, in order to create an emotional contact between me and my partner.

Kissing lets you know you're really there. Really alive.

I miss it today.
harveyspecter harveyspecter
46-50, M
22 Responses Feb 12, 2013

Kissing is one of the only forms of intimacy my husband and I have been able to maintain. It's getting more difficult for him. I will really miss that when it goes.

Making out contests in 6th grade...the best!!! With everyone watching...hahaha ...yep, I was once told that I'm not a good kisser ..7th grade..spin the bottle I spent my 20s practicing!

Are you only staying together for the kids? DO you 2 ever discuss the 'marriage'? If she won't even kiss you, find someone
who will. It can be done. I've been divorced many years now; I know about lonely marriages. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I advise: don't stay there forever! Try and find some happiness. You can kiss a woman-or a few women ( and vice-versa, to you women) -- you don't have to then Marry THAT one!! Good luck.
signed: someone who loves kissing!

I wonder why the kissing stops?

Why indeed. That's the million dollar question. And make no mistake, I am always trying to assess what sort of blame I should assign to myself.

Well based from your story, I gather you are not the problem! :)

It has been a long time for me too.....I miss it a lot....the perfunctory kisses I get now just don't cut it....I miss that moment of anticipation, right before the lips meet, when the eyes are closed, and mouth slightly open..... I hope you get 'really' kissed soon ;)

What a great description of the anticipation. So romantic. So amazing.

Kissing is so intimate and sweet. It's something I never really had in my marriage, but I have found elsewhere. As much as it is a source of guilt for me, finding a man who can spend literally hours kissing and enjoy it at least as much as I do has been wonderful and exciting. I hope that you find your kisses one day too.

Thank you! And have a lovely day.

I have never been kissed :(

I'm so sorry to hear that. But, on the bright side, you have in front of you the rarest and most special thing of all: A first kiss. I promise you, it will be something you never forget. Make sure it's with someone you respect, because you'll think of them the rest of your life.

after reading your made me realize how much I needed a kiss!Never had a decent kiss after I broke up with my second bf 9 years ago!haha..and I think I've already forgotten the feeling of being kissed and be held in a lover's arm.:(

I'm a 100% straight male, but this post had me tearing up! I cannot remember the last time I had a good, full on passionate French kiss. My refuser wife (about the politest I can describe her) will only ever do that lips together peck thing that crushes my spirit... I miss the old tonsil hockey

You are so right! There is a lot of power behind a kiss. I have not had a kiss that has made me weak in the knees in over 15 years. Wow! Just saying that, makes me miss it even more. :0( I can still dream, right?

kissing my wife is more intimate than anything I can imagine....or that's how I remember it...

Kissing is an expression of our inner spirits that are longing for the intimate connection we are doing without. The good aspect here is that we still want to kiss and be kissed ~~ never lose that gift. This might sound silly, but sometimes I kiss my own hand ..... I think of it as a kissing exercise ...

Thats is so true, what kissing means. Its funny that after many years married there is only a routine. No passionate kissing. I liked how you describe. Thatb would be a good question to ask.

Brother Harvey, you seem to have regressed since your last story, taking a wistful backward view.

Sometimes, that is a helpful little pause that then starts you forward, and gets your focus out ahead of the game.

Tread your own path.

It has been at least 8 years since I was with someone that enjoys kissing. I was beginning to think no one did it past 21.

Agree agree agree

Love the poem. Good kissing literally makes me weak in the knees. There is simply no substitute, and I completely empathize with your sense of loss. Kissing deprivation makes for a cold world...

On second thought, thinking I could set up a kissing booth for "charity?" ((Giggle))

See, that's where it's good to be a woman. You never see a guy in a kissing booth. ;)

IDK... I'd be up for that! LOL.

And that is SOOOOOO unfair!

I love kissing! I long to kiss. Slow, deep, urgent, delicious kissing.

Love this poem, feel the sadness all too well. Only difference is that I WILL kiss again. :)

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply;
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in the winter stands a lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet know its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone;
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

-- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Urgent is such a good adjective. And the poem is beautiful. Thank you.


Desperate also comes to mind. LOL.

Early in my affair while were still setting and breaking the boundaries, we met, all clothing had to stay on but kissing was allowed.

For two hours we kissed and dry humped. I hasn't kissed or been kissed like that for over a decade. The urgency and the passion was intoxicating. The way she rubbed her crotch against me and moaned into my mouth was just pure desire.

It certainly beats that dry peck the missus rations out...

So true, kissing just like touching is so essential and natural, yet we get deprived every day and we allow it.
What a silly life we are living really.

I dont remember the last time I properly kissed. Its been years though.