Valentine'S DayCheers to all.
As the most romantic of romantic holidays approaches, how are you handling it?
I used to be the guy who got the babysitter on the sly, came home from work at noon, sent the wife out shopping for a new dress and cooked dinner for the kids so we could be out at a play by 7pm.
As you might imagine, all of my wife's friends hailed me as the absolute prince of husbands. They hoisted me onto their shoulders and carried me through the village, shaming their own inadequate men with tales of my chivalry, thoughtfulness and obvious rugged good looks.
After the parade on the shoulders was over...I returned home to find my lovely wife asleep. I put the moves on her. You know...the "sleepy" moves where you do the full body snuggle, the kissing, the slight touching of the side breast....
Wait, what? Goodnight honey? How can this be? How could anyone not have a fire in their loins for the hunk of man who planned such an evening?
Eventually I scolded myself. This is not quid pro quo! How dare I think that I was entitled to intimacy. I had to put myself in her position. I would have preferred it to be the missionary position but...(wait..stop that!). I could see her side. I went to sleep.
Next year...we're going to do it even better. Gold tennis bracelet, Valentine's Cards made from scratch by the children under daddy's supervision. This time, no going out. That keeps us out too late. Mom gets tired. This year, take out from the local italian eatery. Bottle of nice wine and her favorite dessert, Tiramisu. After dinner, a screening of Love Actually.
When the movie was over, I retired to the master bedroom,took a quick shower so I'd smell great and slipped into my brand new grey calvin klein boxer briefs which would absolutely melt her panties right off.
As I triumphantly enter the bedroom, I find her sleeping. My sweet smelling self snuggles up. And...
As the years go on, my efforts became even more heroic...then trickled down to some tulips plucked from a mulch bed by the homeless guy who sold them to me at an intersection.
And now we arrive in 2013. Your hero has seen this show before. As of now, I'm going to have a calm conversation this evening about how we should probably skip Valentine's day as it's during the week, we could save the money, there's nothing good at the theatres....you get the idea. I'm not really up for donning the mask and the cape again.
But you, gentle reader? What say you? Are you making a stand? Going through the motions? Outsourcing your celebration?
Inquisitive minds wish to know.