A Little NervousThis afternoon I will see a new therapist. I think the marriage therapist we've been seeing is better for helping an individual than he is helping a relationship, if that makes sense. He started the first day by saying "I don't care about your marriage, I care about YOU." Which on one hand was good.. you know, I matter in this as ME... but at the same point... the marriage is important. But he is a 70 yr old man, and if you've read my other story about what is killing our relationship, our intimacy issues, then you'd understand that maybe a 70 yr old man isn't the best help. But yesterday he and I spoke and he said I shouldn't ever do something out of duty, I shouldn't have sex to service him or out of guilt, only if I feel like I want to. And while I do want to have sex, those other issues cause me a great deal of anxiety with having sex with HIM. I want to have sex every day.
The counselor said that he doesn't see how I won't have anxiety in this situation, and so, I need someone who can do more for me than point out the obvious... like tools on HOW to overcome my anxiety of being hurt physically and emotionally again and again.
So, I will see a lady today that has a record of being helpful in the area of sex. We will see.