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Young And Sexless

I have been married for just over 7 years. When we first met, he swept me off my feet and was everything anyone could ever want in a partner. He is incredibly smart, funny, kind and generous, as well as handsome. In bed, he was amazing and I had the best sex in my life with him.

After about a year he did not want to have sex with me nearly as much as I wanted to have with him. We went from having sex once a week or so to once a month, and now I am lucky to have sex with him once every few months. I am not able to 'initiate' the sex as he doesn't respond positively to this, and the rejection hurts so much that I have stopped asking for it at all (I don't want to beg him for it).

We have had many discussions about the situation. At first he said it was his job that stressed him out, then he was saying that he wasn't fit enough. Since then his job has become less stress free and he has started going to the gym 5 times a week. Nothing has changed in the bedroom. Recently he admitted to me that I just don't turn him on. This was the most hurtful thing to hear...

At the same time, the situation is really strange as I haven't 'let myself go' since we got married, in fact I am actually better looking than when we were first married! I have a lot of people say that I am attractive and years younger than i actually am and I know how to look after myself. I know I am not 'crap' in bed either as I am up for different things and have never had a problem in this area.

In short, I am very frustrated! I still love my husband as he remains to be a lovely fantastic human being, but we are more friends than anything else. I have been propositioned by various men who must 'sense' that I am looking for something else in a way (I have not spoken a word of this to anyone so I can only put it down to this). I am very tempted by these offers as I am so frustrated...

An Ep User An EP User 3 Responses Feb 16, 2013

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Do you want to remain in a sexless marriage? Well, not completely sexless as he is having sex that he likes, whether with guys, or ****, or somebody he met. The question is do you want to be the sexless spouse?

Gosh, my first impression, particularly if he is working out and such, is that he is having an affair. But then the second thought is, do you think he might be gay? (yes, it still happens sometimes you know. Gay person marries a straight one, thinking it will be alright).

You'll attract wider comment if you put your name to it.