Happy Trails...SomewhatSo,. spent the weekend travelling with kids, sans EX, to a city about 5 h drive away to visit new nephew & friends & family & see the sights.
And so I need to destress by posting about stress on here, of course...
Not gonna post a lot but here goes:
Trip was a great ego booster, and fun, and taught me how my life COULD be alone with the kids. The hardest part was when they missed home and daddy, because if I decide to move or even move across an ocean, they are gonna be missing home and daddy a whole lot more.
But leaving the house, I remembered again why I need him out. There's me - as usual - packing everyone's stuff (thank goodness not EX's anymore), planning everything (not because I want to but noone else will), etc.
EX comes inside and says "I put a full bottle of windshield fluid in the trunk for you".
Me: "thanks, but I just filled the windshield tank, plus there's a full bottle of fluid under the back seats, and I just took that extra bottle out so I'd have room to back".
Him: "FINE. NEVER MIND." Stomps out of house, slams door.
Like i need that when I'm trying to get going? Or ever? Can we not just discuss like grown adults? It's not a damn insult that I know what I'm doing, how about asking if I need windshield fluid, or even not getting insulted when I point out the duplication?
In the past I would have just covered up, praised him, said "it's ok, I'll take out the extra bottle, thank you so much". Now, I just don't care. Just stay the F out of my way, if you are not being helpful, don't get all butt-hurt because I don't bow down to your awesomeness.
Then we're driving and eldest child mentions that "daddy put $20 in my pocket for me to spend in city".... now, nice gesture right? Child has spending money? Fine. But it brought up a lot of sh*t for me (no, I did not make a deal of it in front of child, I let them spend that money).
C'mon, you refuse to plan for anything, you don't save anything for the children, you use me for my money all the time, I'm taking the kids for the weekend and paying for everything out of my own pocket, and you slip your kid a $20???
It really hit home that he really can't have cared too much. Where does he think I'm going to get enough money to take care of those kids? Let alone me. I keep reading stories about these wives that take their spouses to the cleaners, and all I can think now is, why didn't i get a course in that? I married for "love", but got taken for a ride. How come daddy is the "good guy" for slipping them a $20, while mommy drives 5 h each way, pays gas, hotel, food, entertainment, and it's daddy who knows how to score the points.
I begged him to start saving, to get RRSPs, to get health insurance. Ladies and gentlemen, I now know if they cannot see into the future far enough to envisage a day where they may be unable to look after their own offspring and help care for them, and put aside enough for that purpose, especially if they are ABLE to (I am not talking new immigrants or other extenuating circumstances), and they choose NOT to, that is NOT CARING WHAT HAPPENS.
F him is all I can say right now.
ETA: it's not like he can't find $$$ every month to buy sh*t from China to hoard in the ba
zsuzsilowinger 36-40, F 7 Responses 1 Feb 20, 2013