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Just Not Interested

Have been thinking about what I would do, if he wanted to have sex. Ya know, honestly, regardless of how much I would like to have a physical connection with someone. I'm just not interested in him anymore. We still sleep in the same bed, however, he works 2nd shift, so I'm way into LALA land by the time he gets home. I am up way before he is even sorta coherent. 

I suppose he's grabbed my hips once, gotten close enough to kiss me a couple of times in the last 6 months. We can go literally for 6 full days every week with absolutely NO communication. I'm really OKAY with that. I'm just no longer interested. I'm 100% sure...  I WOULD BECOME the REFUSER... if I was asked.

ExistsinHOPE ExistsinHOPE 51-55, F 4 Responses Feb 23, 2013

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I sleep in the spare room now after getting tired of being refused any affection, even when i was asleep i would try to have some cuddles, only to be woken up by the words keep your hands off me. So now i do.

sigh.... I'm sorry.

Its into the 4th year now no sex, kisses, touches, i kinda forget how them things feel, and 6 month in spare room :(

Let me see...he hasn't really kissed me in nearly 10 yrs, a peck here and there doesn't really count. I've stayed in our room only because I don't have a real spare room yet. My kids still come in and out... they are 21 and 23. Totally sexless for 4 yrs, partially sexless ( 5 or few times a year ) for at least 15.

u know what if i ask my husbin for sex he alwa say he is not in the mood he dosnt cheet on my and i am not ugle i try but no action what so ever always telling me he loves me but he is not in the mood always on his pc for hours no counication nothing i just simply cry my self to sleep every night coz all i want is for a person to love me and make me fell like he dose but thats not the way it works i guess i just fell like i am in the same circel every day and i cant have the carege to do any thing about it just dont know what to do with my self i ignore him he dosent cear argu and fight it dosent matter ist like i keep getting my heart broken like shaterd glass eery day a milion time

I don't agree with Baz on much, but I do on this one.

If you and your spouse are both to the point of mutually refusing, feeling total disdain for one another, then it's time for you to move on. If in your mind, you've given up all hope, then you certainly can't get any hope from any of us.

Time to start packing, or at least accept the death of the relationship, I mean really accept it, so that you don't go through your days bitter and angry.

And, THAT, marks the time of death of the union.

When said death is recorded in the official records doesn't really matter. Might be another year or more.

But there you have it. T.O.D. 12.08am 24th Feb (in my jurisdiction)

Tread your own path.