No End In Sight

Another update: It seems there is always something. Another doctors appointment today and he says once again she is just fine and the work he did healed up within a few days after he had performed the procedure, SHOCKER. So she has been taking some kind of antibiotics for something which has caused her normal response of getting a yeast infection, another SHOCKER. So now it is another call to the doctor for the pill to get rid of the yeast infection. The cycle never stops.

You must reckon by now that NONE of her problems regarding sex and physical intimacy are physical by nature, even if they are real in any other way, but rather psychological and emotional, even to the point of trying to make your life hell by blackmailing you by threatening to make your life hell if you even once move out.

I have to say that I sense that you are pushing as hard as ever in terms of putting pressure on her and that would probably be a basis for setting up a reactionary process. However, without even knowing, never mind understanding your situation, I suspect that would make no difference in the circumstances anyway.

She is anti-sex with you, for whatever reason(s), maybe anti-sex, period. Who knows? The thought must have struck you by now, more than once, that this marriage, this relationship is over, bar the shouting and the form-filling. Yet she wants to keep you around simply to have access to your financial resources. You haven't really experienced any sense of her working towards a real resolution to the problem, She has not expressed any regret to you about missing out on sex or physical intimacy, at least any that were convincing to you.

Yet you are not in a state of readiness to throw in the towel for all sorts of reasons, the threats, your own natural reticence, fears of the unknown and so on. And all that is natural and inevitable as well.

Do you think there is any point in continuing to throw your focus, emotional energy and time, maybe even money into trying to resolve the situation, while she desperately plays for time? Do you think you have put as much effort into as it would ordinarily warrant?

It's a desperate situation to find yourself in.

What a mess.
First off, the alternates you offered.. I assume that is sexual things without actual intercourse. She "doesn't like doing things like that?" What is this? College? She's a grown woman. Doesn't like "doing things to please her husband?" That doesn't in itself make her happy? sorry, but.. that is ENOUGH to walk away right there.

Secondly, hypnosis, witch doctors and all the herbal remedies won't change her personality. And this sexless stuff? It's become her personality. Towards you, at least. And based on what you have said, that isn't going to change because she is FULL of excuses.

" One of the reasons I won't move out is because the last time I did she made the comment the next I moved out it would be for good and she would make my life a living hell."

So, so many things wrong with this statement.

Why are you letting yourself stay hostage to a person who would make such a deranged and hateful statement to you?

Why have you not consulted a lawyer to see just how much of a reality that thread might be - or might not be? You have rights too, you know.

Why do you give a flying **** what her mother says or thinks?

You are going to look back on this and wonder who the **** you were that you let yourself be played like this. From one who has lived a similar life to another. Illness is NO excuse for treating you like some sort of indentured slave.

Note to you: this is NOT a marriage.

You appear to be "why" chasing.

Some "why" chasing is usual as we try and find the "fix" for a disengaged spouse.

Try and not turn it into an art form - or a end within itself. It is a road to nowhere. The bullet has to be bitten at some point.

Tread your own path.

I found the sceptic society has excellent material on homeopathy (which I can't find in a jiffy, but I have found many scientific studies of homeopathy quoted on a sceptics webpage - funny, when the homeopaths always moan that no scientific research in to their activities has ever been conducted) However - here's a url for one writeup on the topic:
http://www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/09-01-14/

Basically:homeopathy has a great placebo effect because the practitioner spends a lot of time with the client, asks them many questions and generally makes them feel good because they seem to really care about them, unlike a MD. And that's about as helpful as homeopathy gets. Everything else is horseshit.

I've tried it myself, I loved the attention, the caring etc, felt "well looked after" - and the treatment had absolutely no effect on my body. Alas, my one bit of anecdotal evidence is worth just as little as their 'success stories'.

I've had bad experiences with my ex-wife's obsession with homeopathy. She spent a small fortune on stuff like "essential oregano oils" (whatever they are) and literally kept a kitchen cabinet full of lord knows what. I guess it can work but theraphy may be a better starting point. Different strokes for different folks. In my ex's case, she always found another reason for a different treatment. I think it was kind of like Munchausen's syndrome.