Went to Counseling

Well we went to counseling for the first time last week, I still feel the same, I have this anger towards him.  I never had this anger but I look at him and get really pissed off thinking that he looks so happy and content while I am sitting here drying up.  I hope the counseling helps but I think/fear it will probably help me decide to finally leave him instead of helping him want to have an intimate relationship with me.  I don't even get full kisses, I get the stupid closed mouth kiss, I really miss the long passionate kisses that I had with other boyfriends before my husband, I miss the hugs and long kisses this is something that has been pretty much non existent.  I am scared of getting divorced and being a single mom, but how long are we supposed to put up with this situation?  Does it ever get better?  I look at pictures of myself before I got married and I looked so happy, I remember how full of life I was, a free spirit, now I look at myself and think what the hell are you doing? GET OUT, but I can't seem to get that extra push to pack up his crap and ask him to s*** or get off the pot.  I fear this day is coming real soon.  What will life after a sexless marriage be like?

mica mica
31-35, F
4 Responses May 30, 2007

I am married to a loving wife who has no interest in seducing me, & would rather we not have sex at all if she has to work at it. I make her *** with my fingers, & vibes, but she has 0% interest in stimulating me. Spouses forget that sex is a 2way street.

Wow - the closed mouth kiss.... I am sorry.

That is one of the more offensive weapons in their arsenal. I have been / am there.

I am sorry for your pain. I wish I had answers for all of us. There is no way that this behavior is not a CHOICE.

I had no kisses for many years, finally when I complained enough he started, but honesty, just sticking your tongue in someone's mouth isn't kissing. Some people just don't GET passion and intimacy. My advice is get out as fast as you can, you are young, and the more time you waste in an unfullfilling relationship, the worse it's going to be for you, and the more time you invest in it, the harder it is to leave. Go find your happiness.

leave the loser

"It's tooooo scarry out there. Then you're "out there" with all the sickos who haven't got a second thought about passing on some lovely disease to you OR to your child(ren), or bring drugs into your house, or ... you watch the news, the list is endless. "<br />
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Sorry, but this is a load of c%&p! The above poster no doubt means well, but obviously does not have a CLUE about living in a sexless marriage. I do feel quite annoyed with the way these people think they can come on this forum and state the obvious to us. As if we are so dumb we might not have figured any of this out ourselves!<br />
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And is if shaving our legs or serving dinner by candle light and Barry White would "fix" our sexless marriages! As if . . . !!<br />
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Mica, I am so sad for you. The truth is that it very rarely gets better. At least you have managed to get him to go to counselling - if he takes it seriously it might help. I hope so.<br />
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On the other hand, it may have the effect that concerns you. It may confirm to you that your marriage is over. But either way, you can move forward in your life.<br />
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Styaying where you are will be a slow "death" - not only of your marriage, but of you as a person. You deserve much better than that.