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Fed Up

So i had this talk with my wife yesterday about our lack of intimacy. And according to her i am addicted to sex cause i want it more than once every other month. Really are you freaking kidding me? No you heard me right.
Last night after out little talk she said "give me a few minutes and i'll take care of you" Like it was a freaking chore.
Then she went and got on the computer and that was it. i tried talking to her again making "suggestive advances" but she told me to leave her alone. This is total bull. I'm about ready to pack my stuff and move out. At this point and time i want out of this marriage. she never puts any effort into anything anymore and she blames me.
Tearfulhusband Tearfulhusband 31-35, M 10 Responses Apr 9, 2013

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This is essentially the same "I'm fed up" story as your previous two.

Did you see a lawyer in your jurisdiction after story #1 ?

Did you have an exit strategy worked out by the time of story #2 ?

Or are you waiting on a cosmic event to take the responsibility of making a choice out of your hands ?

Tread your own path.

Brother see a good Divorce Lawyer prepare an exit plan based on the advice given then present her with the account owing.

In other words prepare yourself than strike her when she least expects it.

Silent but deadly.

Your too young to put up with this crap. At your age and i presume she is of a similiar age she should be at her peak of sexual intimacy.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

"This is total bull. I'm about ready to pack my stuff and move out."

Probably what she wants. Then she can tearfully tell all the audience members (friends, family, co-workers, etc.) how you left her. It is important to some women to be able to play that card.

If you have no kids, leave. If you have kids, never leave. Get the divorce papers ready, and make sure you have a great case for shared custody and no alimony.

We require desire back when we offer our desire. I personally would have gone for a "mercy" desire feast a few years ago."I'll take care of you" would have worked even 12 months ago. Not now. Now, my BOB is perfectly. wonderfully, fabulously better than mercy.
No more tears, no more sincere requests, Hell, I even climbed a stepladder without underwear, asking for "help" to change a light bulb.
You can carry on like this for years, or not.

Awesome. I would jump at the chance if my wife would do something like that. If only...

Look, she's made it very clear where she stands on this issue. Sadly, this means that you and her are NOT compatible, because you believe that marriage involves intimacy, and she does not.

Why are you waiting for her to change? She has no desire to change.

Have you seen a lawyer yet? I think that would be a great use of your time. You are too young to stay like that for the rest of your life.

Hi Tearful H,

You are in a terrible place right now, trying to make sense of your situation, and the truth is hard to acknowledge. But, once you accept the truth, then and only then can you begin to make decisions that will have a favorable outcome for YOU. But, acceptance of the truth of your situation will likely be the most difficult part of your journey. But know this, with acceptance of the truth you will gain back your self esteem, your independence, and control of your own destiny. I know how you feel.

I can so relate to your experience. It is such a horrible feeling. For me, it makes me feel so unwanted. I feel as if he is not attracted to me any longer. I stay with him because of the kids.

I've joined a flirting site for older adults and it's really helped me with my insecurities. Most of the men and women there are in sexless marriages and are there for support and a little flirting. Believe it or not, most of the members are married and just want some innocent flirting....to feel wanted. You're welcome to check it out. It takes about 1 minute to register and it's free. I love it. www.flirtsnfriends.com

On January 28, 2013 you wrote this: -----"After a 6 hour time of intense fellowship yesterday she finally confessed to me that she does not like sex, does not desire sex, does not desire me sexually, and would be happy if we never had sex again."



She has been truthful in her words and deeds.



She drew her line in the sand with clarity - in other words, to her - your needs are not her problem.



Do you have a plan on how to get out - logistically? That is your next move if you are serious about this.

She has a complete lack of regard for your feelings and needs. Would you have even wanted to have sex last night if your advances DID work, after she treated you as if sex with you was a chore?
**** that. And no not literally. Who would want to?

Sounds like it woulda been bad sex anyhow.

She is probably addicted to periods. Every month! Holy smoke!

haha!!! : )