Four Years Into This and Considering Divorce
My marriage lost all passion basically the day the rings went on. I listened to him tell me he would change over and over during most of our marriage. He is a wonderful man and my best friend in the world. I do love him, but the only time there is any intimacy, is when I get upset about it. He just gives in and it is terrible.
I recently told him that he needed to take some time to decide what he wants and how he feels about me and the marriage. He has refused counseling many times over, so that is out. He cannot tell me what the issue is, and he says he is extremely attracted to me and loves me very much. He mentioned that part of the problem was we never had a babysitter (I have a child from a previous relationship). So, I hired one for Friday evenings. We will go out to dinner, come home and go to bed....to SLEEP. He tells me things like "please stop" if i try to touch him at times.
His solution has always been to give in when I am upset. Very rarely do we do anything outside of that circumstance.
I am 30, thin, and have been told by other men that I am very nice to look at. I have spent the last 3 years trying to do everything i can think of to get him interested and nothing works. I do not want to go through yet another divorce.
Oh wait, the kicker. If that weren't bad enough, my husband will not flirt with me at all ever. I found e-mails while he was on a business trip last year of him flirting with a co-worker. He says it was just a joke, but I feel that he should have been talking to me that way. (This was not just a funny flirty comment..this was an all-day e-mail going back and fourth and making plans for that night if one or the other could not sleep). It wasn't very funny to me.
Any opinion would be greatly appreciated. I keep looking for a glimmer of hope, but i can't seem to find one.