My Fault But Don't Know How to Fix It

i've been married just about 1.5 years (yes, less than 2) and things are going stale.

i mostly blame myself, when i get home from work i need to run errands, do some cleaning/cooking, eat, and attempt to make it to the gym then shower and collapse in bed.

after a 1.5 hour commute roundtrip to work, and a full 8 hour day, the only thing i want at the end of the night is sleep.

i've tried talking my husband into having sex with me *before* i go to the gym or at least earlier in the evening but not much budging on his part.

he hasn't out right said so but i know he's very frustrated that we only have sex on the weekends.

he's currently in between jobs and i pointed out to him when HE was working and I was not, i always wanted sex and he was too exhausted to do it all the time.

i'm hoping we can find a balance somewhere - but any hints / tips / advice would be appreciated.

ALSO, he goes to bed hours after i do as well (i read that in someone's story). he often goes for drives late at night or just sits in the car outside and smokes (no smoking allowed at home).

I would suspect him of doing something shady except he's a really good guy who loves me a lot and he doesn't know anyone in this city, doesn't have the money for a prostitute, and is very afraid of catching any diseases and dying.

So yeah...i'm 27, he's 29 and we're only being intimate about 3 times a week on the weekends after less than 2 years of marriage.

help please.

isolatedkitty isolatedkitty
26-30, F
6 Responses Jun 13, 2007

Here's what jumps out at me from your story. You say he is currently unemployed......yet you have to run around doing errands along with cooking and cleaning the house? If he's home all day, why in hell isn't he picking up the slack and contributing where he can? I've lived in your situation and when I was at home while my wife worked full time, she scarcely did any cooking and never had to worry about laundry. If he is losing out because you are doing all the household chores then it is time he stepped up to give you more free time.

Thank you for the advice and comments :) i will unsubscribe from the group.

Sorry darlin' heart, you don't belong in this group.

Oh three times per week=sexless marriage? I DON´T think so... I would do everything for three times a week, oh even once a week or once a month! but of course I am able to do it even more.... <br />
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Definitely, you should try to talk with your hubby and compromise...you are not in a sexless marriage

he's obviously in a depression. you've mentioned the new surroundings, he's out of work, and he's lonesome when you're out and about. Frankly though, to complain about sex 2 or 3 times a weekend in a forum where people have been battling bed death for 1-20+years...

3 times a weekend ain't so bad. We would all like more but if you can manage it that much with your busy schedule you're doing pretty good. sorry if its not enough, you'll have to free up some time and come to some agreements on the shcduling. Hope it works out.