Counting the Full Moons.

I have been married for 13 Years and love my wife very much.  For the last 5 sex has been slowly becoming non existent.  We went from 2 to 3 times a month to every other month.  til now where it has been 6 months.  The time before that was 9 months preceded by another 6 month stint. 

As much as I love her I feel more like an associate than a full partner.  I have thought about having an affair but it seems too difficult to find the right person to make it work and in the end I do not want to become that type of person.  I have talked to her before but I always get different answers as to why we can't.  The latest was that it hurt but after her last gyn visit she didn't even talk to the doctor about it. 

I feel as if I have done something wrong that she is not telling me.   Or I am just a trophy husband that she needed for her job advancement.  the whole situation is leaving me feeling isolated from life.  It is also consuming most of my time thinking about it. 

I have turned to the self help books and they have some good points.  The biggest is that it is not my problem or hers.  It is ours.  But if she doesn't want to accept it then I am truly on my own.

I have 3 children that I love and do not want to put them through a divorce but at the same time how do I show them a truly loving marriage.

soundman soundman
36-40, M
1 Response Jun 29, 2007

You said that things started going downhill about 5 years ago? How old is your youngest child? Things changed in our bedroom after my wife had our second (and last) child. She had post-partum depression.<br />
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She is much better now that she had gotten professional help, but she is different and will likely never be the same. Recovery is a very long, slow process.