A Marriage Without Sex Is No Marriage???

I have been married for 15 years now. For the last year or so my wife has lost interest even in once a week sex that we used to have. I have thought quite often that our marriage is over, but would not like a divorce for I have two beautiful daughters and would like to see them ruined by our broken home.  I guess I have to endure.
nssd nssd
41-45, M
11 Responses Jul 21, 2007

Divorce doesn't necessarily ruin kids if you and wife can work together for their best interest. On the contrary, staying teaches kids to remain in bad relationships and so could be as bad or worse.

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Yeah... No.

I've shut it down for lots of reasons, my health; sometimes it can hurt if I have a cyst; if I'm angry & we've been arguing saying mean things; with that said during the wee hours of the night, a slow kiss on the neck, a hand in between the thighs coming from behind, seduce her ;)

Tried that got fought off like a rapist

I think it may be better to come from a broken home then to live in one

Amen, i still remember my parents fighting and this has a lot of play in the women I seek. Either completely non confrontational or passionate to the point of "latin".

My husband has asked me the same question...why don't you want sex anymore? Is there someone else? My answer was I do want sex, but it's hard to have a desire for sex from someone who always curses at me, never wants to take me out unless it's free, and always has sex the same way. I explained to him how I would like to have sex sometimes, things I would like him to do to me and with me to change things up some and his comment was, "I know how to have sex and be romantic. I will do it my f***** way!" So there probably is an issue going on with her that maybe she is not saying. Some woman may have pain with sex and afraid to let you know. Plan a romantic weekend or just one night for both of you and don't focus on sex, but focus on letting her tell you her feelings on romance and sex. Also, my kids knew something was not right even though we tried to put on a happy home.

Sexless marriages are not fixable.

I wish shock treatments worked Hex....but they rarely do.<br />
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The tired question but gotta ask..<br />
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Have the two of you received any counseling nssd.

Sex is the third strongest and most important human drive, after eating and sleep. Its not OK to live without sex and no one should be able to take it away from you. Most importantly, stay positive and try to shake things up, stimulation, I believe, is the key - go to a B&B, go camping, got to the Carribean, get drunk and go to a hotel, go to a ***** club, anything to stimulate the senses. If that doesn't work, I would ask her "honey, since you've made it clear that you don't want to have sex with me, then is it OK for me to get it somewhere else?" and see what happens.

Agreed on the tension affecting the kids, but from my experience both H&W need to understand that.

ElleMeza is right, how could they not know something is up? You are in an abusive relationship, and letting things stay as is will teach your daughters that it is OK to put up with an abusive relationship.

Clear choice from my experience get out! get a "friend" or go on sexless for the rest of your natural, no remission for good behavior!.