To Care Or Not to Care

Its going on three years since my husband and I last made love. It just became and area that died slowly. My husband is in the military and is gone most of the time. We have had some major problems in our marriage since he got all hung up in internet ****. He has always had a problem with it and when it came into his home his selfcontrol went right out the window. Well he knows how I feel about ****. Well it just broke something inside of me and I have never felt as close to him since. Oh I forgot to tell you the kicker. We have married each other three times. Yes I know it sounds insane. Everytime we would get divorced. He'd wait around about a year and an half and then he would come back. I love this freak and would really like to have whats left of our lives together be pleasant. We moved into this new house and that was the end of our sex life. We both have sex lives totally independent of each other now. Hes on base four nights a week. God only knows what he does. I just go to bed with my "rabbit".  However it does get old. When I asked my husband why he didn't want to make love to me he said it was because I had told him that I had been faking ,my *******. He asked me if he had ever made me come while making love and I didn't lie. I said no. I thought that way maybe we could try something else. He was so hurt that he just didnt want to put himself out there for a while. I know that the male ego it fragile, but cant he take a little instruction. Hes forty eight.  

I just got diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago and have been undergoing surgery and chemo and radiation. Its taken alot out of me/ He has been a trooper through this whole cancer thing. and you know it meant a whole lot more to me than sex.

wearywarrior wearywarrior
51-55, F
2 Responses Jul 21, 2007

"We have had some major problems in our marriage since he got all hung up in internet ****...
Well he knows how I feel about ****."
"I have never felt as close to him since."

How do you feel about ****?
How do you feel about others appreciating sexual fantasy, or the representation of sexual expression? Do you feel that your views are unusual or different from those held by others? You mentioned that the problems started when HE "got hung up" on enjoying something that you don't. Did your reaction to that, or the way you both dealt with it or discussed/negotiated his preference vs your beliefs, have an impact here?

What would HE say is his interest in ****? How would he characterize your view of his activity? You mention that he is away a lot due to his career ... what do you suppose the alternatives would be, in facilitating his natural need for sexual expression?

The first part of your story made me mad the last chapter made me sad!<br />
Mad because I feel so strongly re men who don't realize the importance of really "satisfying" their partners I have one word for them "w@ankers"<br />
The last chapter brought it home the value of good health & the importance of enjoying the precious gift of sex whilst we are able.<br />
I am glad to know that he has stood by you in your hour of need thereby demonstrating some emotion to the woman he choose as a life partner.<br />
I salute you & hope that your recovery will be quick & complete!