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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

My Wife’s Bizarre Proposition

By: warwick
Written on February 2nd, 2009
By: warwick
Age: 36-40 , Male
2,009 people have read this story

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18 responses
  • naturelover1

    Can you let me know how the sex therapist has helped or not. I've tried everything with mine except the sex therapist. She doesn't like being touched either. Is the sex therapist male or female?

    Jun 17, 2012
    1 like
  • bazzar

    @macca74, wow, what a wordsmith.



    @warwick - I would love to know what happened. In particular how you "toss her on her back and do it doggy style passionately" ?? My mind, admittedly a filthy mind, can't quite grasp how this bit of gymnastics could actually be performed.



    Tread your own path.

    Sep 27, 2010
    1 like
  • zorbas

    This has been and remains so simple . Give the lady what she wishes. Accept it for what it is and move on.



    I can't believe this has continued on as long as it has. Now you see why I think therapy is bogus. It purposedly clouds the issue and makes everyone overly anaylize everything

    Feb 4, 2009
    1 like
  • cstreaker

    Please tell us how it turns out!! What a story, a sexless person turning back to sex. I did not think it was possible. WOW

    Feb 3, 2009
    1 like
  • lettinggo

    Here's my two cents worth....................



    Sounds like she fantisizes about those particular things, but much like rape fantasies, the real deal may be more than she can handle. Remember, in fantasies we are in COMPLETE control. And control is often the main issue with people who are anxious about any situation, including sex.



    It could be that she does want to live out this fantasy. And she may have been going over it in her mind to the point where she feels she can handle it. But, she probably can't. Why not start with something similar, but less complicated? The key is to give her COMPLETE control over the situation. She says go and you go, she says back off and you back off.



    It's too bad she doesn't want to blindfold you. That would probably be safer for her.

    Feb 3, 2009
    1 like
  • mrmeauggie

    whats with all the psycoanalist here

    she wants some give it to her

    the only question should be "Do we have to wait till saturday?"

    Feb 3, 2009
    1 like
  • pixelita

    It sounds to me that she wants it like she wants it...don't ask questions and don't read into it...



    You men always tell us women this all the time...don't read into it! Well now I am saying it back to you! I hope you don't mind! :-)



    Maybe she wants to envision you are George Clooney with her blindfold on...it's ok...she stills loves "you"...just wants a little "George" for the nite :-) hehehe!!!



    Just go with it warwick !!! Good luck and have fun!!!! :-)

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like
  • Leiza350

    For Gott Sakes go for it ,stop alle the questions ....lol

    she may have gotten a hormone rush

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like
  • singer1960

    it her way....But have a safe word that she could use....In case it is too much for her....And then back off a little....back to the touching...kissing...nibbling...licking....



    Oh god...I have to stop...Starting to turn my self on here......Got to go....Andone know of a male massage place that deliveres......hehehehehe

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like
  • Lexi123

    Oh, and I would totally blow off the sex expert this time... but that’s just me, I think I know everything :-) lol

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like
  • Lexi123

    I did not read the other comments, just wanted to say: Hooray! your dry spell might be over :-) But for crying out loud, stop splitting the hair so much and enjoy the moment, start anticipating and I bet you both will have a great time. GL!

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like
  • Busylife

    Have you shared this with your therapist? Maybe its actually okey as long as you have some guide lines to follow? What I mean is, as you start the fantasy use safety words as it progress's. All this seduction is in the head and reality is quite different. With such a long break it would be easy for it to be uncomfortable etc. Just a thought your therapist is the expert. I really hope things go well for you. I just wish my partner was prepared to put the work in as you have. Good luck.

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like
  • warwick

    I’d love to be as optimistic as you guys mostly seem to be.



    I guess on of my concerns is that when I look back to the beginning of our relationship, my partner used having kinky sex as a way of detaching herself from the present along with alcohol e.t.c.



    All part of avoiding intimacy and dealing with her difficulties with this. And I’m worried that this really is more a step backwards than a step forward.



    As for reading “My Secret Garden”. Yes she has read it recently, good call.



    I guess to I don’t know if I tell her that I ma not interested then it is a bit of a stale-mate.



    I perhaps need to find some sort of compromise.



    Who would have thought that after 1 ½ years with no sex I could contemplate turning it down! lol

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like
  • reflections3

    My faith has been restored with " Strangelin's " comment.





    Sounds like the sex therapist would benefit by knowing your wife's sexual fantasy plan while being ******.





    Maybe she recently read Nancy Friday's "My Secret Garden" to come up with such a raw sexual fantasy? Also, after 18 months.... which is very long not to have been ******, why would she start backwards and not face you? I'm thinking ... can she physically be entered comfortably" I agree that she seems to want to be as


    "psychologically distanced from the process as she can get." -- and by not facing you she is probably setting herself back only God knows how far.





    More importantly, although you want to have this happen, is this the way "you envisioned it after 18 months?"


    You just hit the nail on the head:





    It is all just too bizarre

    Feb 11, 2009
    1 like
  • Strangeling

    I'm in the other camp. I would totally be suspicious of this. One of the things that I've learned is that people's ability to predict what will make them happy is usually pretty sucky.



    I'd take this as a suggestion that she'd like to accelerate your progress. Her boredom with the current status is actually a good sign. It means that she's now not getting distressed by physical contact any more, and is ready for more. I suspect that your sex therapist would agree with me that going whole-hog (or, for that matter hog-tied) is probably going to result in a relapse for her.



    Another issue that I see is that she suggests that she wants to be as psychologically distanced from the process as she can get. This might be fun on an immediate basis, but as a long-term process is not a solution.

    Feb 2, 2009
    5 likes
  • twisted69

    Sounds like things are looking up for you warwick... I don't wanna jinx anything but lets just hope that she doesn't get you all worked up and then fades away come Saturday. We are all very well familiar with all the excuses.

    Maybe sex therapy is begining to work for you 2 after all?!?!...

    Good Luck man!

    Feb 2, 2009
    2 likes
  • zorbas

    Fun55 said it all. She has been probably been wanting this for months and just couldn't get herself to come out with it. Lucky you !You may be on your way off this segment of the forum.

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like
  • plasticpantielover

    Cross your fingers and let hoppy ride !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I hope every thing works out ok 4 U 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Feb 2, 2009
    1 like