Forever I Don't

Two weeks after my marriage I left for Basic Training,then there was AIT, Field exercises, Iraq. We were apart more than we were together. We would always have hot passionate sex when I got back. Once sometimes twice. Then into a once a week blessing. When I complained, it became twice a month. When I finally complained again, it became once a month. I am now out of the military and getting more and more desperate, getting fatter, more insecure by the day. Fearful of saying too much that I might make it worse. For a while there it was every six weeks,and heaven knows I don't want to go there. I tried getting a friend but the guilt was too much for me to bear so it oly happened once. Some people say he's cheating, but I don't believe he is. Others say he just enjoys married life and gives me just enough to keep me around, that lots of men do this. Others swear he is gay and that he loves me deeply but not in that way! I just can't seem to shake him up and after seven years of hell and embarrassing shut downs I desperately want out. But we have so many things that are good and I have 0 confidence left. Please help me decide what to do????
InNeedOf InNeedOf
36-40, F
2 Responses Aug 5, 2007

I agree with Elle, get yourself on a workout routine and stick to it. It will build loads of selfesteem and increase your confidence.

what do you mean when you say "tried geting a friend?" a boyfriend? that most definitely will not help matters. i have often suspected my husband of cheating but i cant prove it. i try to convince myself that he's not that kind of man but then again what kind of man wont screw his wife? it's a hard thing to contemplate. as for the gay thing, i have wondered that too. that really makes me angry when i think about it for the simple fact that i hate being lied to. i honestly dont know how you would go about proving or disproving these questions your friends have but keep in mind that they look at him from a different perspective and maybe you need to give their concerns some serious thought.